


die welt steht still

by Brie (Kura)



Series: Let The World Know [18]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Dean's Birthday, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Slammy Awards, Tables Ladders Chairs, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kura/pseuds/Brie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>'Stop wearing your Shield hoodie,' he orders pleadingly instead of a proper greeting. Dean huffs, stating nonchalantly, 'I have no idea what you're talking about.' When will they learn that lying to him won't work? He's like a living, breathing bullshit detector. Takes one to know one.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. let me inside your mind

**Author's Note:**

> Blah, I know I wanted to take a break but so many things happened that I had to write a short interlude before I write about Dean's birthday (which was planned ever since I started LTWK). I just had to address all my headcanons and mention the live event I was at XD Also, a big thanks to everyone who is still reading and leaving comments on this fic. I don't know what I'd do without you *hugs you all*

**November 18, 2014  
01:46 pm**

He just finished cooking his lunch when his phone beeps angrily, Seth writing him text after text, asking if he has any idea where he'll be on Dean's birthday next month because he has something special planned for him and he'd like to know if Roman wants to be a part of it.

_depends on what you wanna do_   
_i am not having a threesome_   
_not matter how much you beg_

Roman loves his brothers, but he draws the line right there. He makes it to his kitchen table, before Seth writes him back. Reading the messages, he sits down chuckling softly, practically able to hear the grossed out sound his friend made when he saw Roman's answer.

_Dude, ew. I mean, no, it's nothing like that.  
Stop confusing me.  
So you'll be in Greenville on the 7th_ _or not?_

Good question. If he's being honest, he thought about surprising Dean in Cincinnati during a house show twenty days later, but he also has the offer to do a live interview at Survivor Series. He'll decide on a fly if he does that or not, since a lot of people are already speculating about it.

But no matter when he'll come back – in person or via satellite –, it'll be his little secret.

_do you want me there or not  
cause if not i will stay out of your business_

Seth takes his sweet time to answer so Roman starts eating his chicken curry, knowing full well his brother is having an internal crisis because he doesn't want to be impolite and tell him that he kinda hopes to be alone with Dean. Especially since the two of them have been separated so long due to their respective injuries. Seth wants to savor each second with his boyfriend before Roman returns and he'll be alone again.

He should end his friend's debacle and assure him that it's fine. Dean's going nowhere, neither is Roman. This time, they really have forever to get back together. Before he can do anything though, Seth makes up his mind, the following words touching Roman's very soul.

_I'd be happy to have you there with us._

Now, he doesn't believe it's a lie – Seth wouldn't dare doing that – but he has a feeling his brother would be even happier if he'd stay away for whatever he has planned. It's not exactly fair to expect him to keep his distance to Dean during his birthday, since they always used to celebrate them as a family and they work a house show in the evening.

Being the adult one isn't always fun. He has to give up a lot for the sake of his brothers.

_i want him in the morning_   
_you can have the rest of the day_   
_sound good_

Hopefully they'll be able to spend their birthdays with each other next year again. He's so sick of hiding and pretending to hate Seth. Wow, imagine that.

_You're the best, Rome. I love you!_

Yeah, yeah. One of them has to make the sacrifice; this time it's his turn. And now that they talked so much about Dean, he wants to hear his brother's voice. Before he does anything else, he tries to worm the secret out of Seth what exactly that surprise will be; coming up with nothing though. He's just beating his head against a brick wall.

That stubborn idiot won't share his oh-so-genius present. Kids.

Speaking of. 'Yup,' his brother answers the phone, sounding way more relaxed and at ease than Roman imagined. Which is great, because it means Dean is still doing perfectly fine and that Seth managed to fulfill his promise. He took care of Dean's mind and kept him in a good headspace, even though he has his hands full with this whole Cena vs Authority business.

Once all of this is finally over, he'll grant Seth one wish, no matter what it is, because he's earned it. It's time Roman comes back and releases his little brother from his own duties, so the kid can be himself again. It's Roman's job to keep them safe, not Seth's. He should only worry about his relationship with Dean and coming up with a decent plan to get The Shield back together.

Ah, before he forgets it. 'Stop wearing your Shield hoodie,' he orders pleadingly instead of a proper greeting. Dean huffs, stating nonchalantly, 'I have no idea what you're talking about.' When will they learn that lying to him won't work? He's like a living, breathing bullshit detector. Takes one to know one.

'Dee, I've already seen the exact level of your reckless stupidity with my own eyes. Stop it, it's dangerous.' What if someone rips off his leather jacket in front of the camera; or he moves too fast and reveals the lettering? He gets why his brother loves to wear that piece of cloth between his usual, new ring gear – it's about having an anchor at his disposal at every time –; however, this is too risky.

'But it,' Dean starts, unable to finish the sentence himself. 'And Seth, as well as me appreciate it. It's part of your makeshift guard.' He hears his best friend clear his throat, showing Roman that he is more than uncomfortable with this topic, so he does what he always does in this situation: he makes a joke. Sighing dramatically, Roman purrs, 'And I think it's _beautiful_.'

'Shut up,' Dean retorts, both of them chortling for a while. Still, he hasn't gotten the confirmation yet that Dean will stop this behavior in the future. He needs it because he's constantly worried about their cover being blown by one seemingly insignificant mistake. And he hopes for Seth's sake that _that_ 'll never happen.

'No, Dean, seriously. We're relieved you've found your own ways of grounding yourself, but I'm begging you, no more Shield stuff.' His brother heaves a long-suffering sigh and Roman knows he has won this little argument. He hates taking this away from his friend, but there is no other way.

Not now when there is more than ever at stake.

'That's my man,' he praises Dean, suddenly very content with naming his brother as one of his dream teammates for a Survivor Series Elimination match. He'd have loved to include Seth too, but he's not supposed to be on good terms with him, so he couldn't. Instead he chose Christian, because he'd never kick the Undertaker or Dean out of his team, telling the interviewer something about great tag team action.

'So, humor me, how was Germany?' He can't believe they haven't talked since Dean came back on Sunday, so of course he wants to know everything about the last stop of the tour. He's heard all kinds of stories from his cousins already, but it's more interesting and satisfying to hear it directly from Dean.

He just loves to listen to his brother talking about the one passion in his life that is not Seth.

'Absolutely stunning,' Dean bursts out excitedly, 'though Jimmy and Jey never let me out of their sight, teaming up with Jericho on the bus rides.' That might be Roman's fault. He asked them to have an eye on his best friend, but he never said anything about Chris. Still, the things he saw circling around on the internet made him very happy.

'He praised you a lot,' Roman mentions without ostentation, eager to get Dean to tell him how he feels about this himself. 'Yeah, we had fun during and after the shows. And Kane was really courteous. Let me shine in every match we had, even interfered in the main events, so I could get my hands on Bray for a few seconds. Fans went nuts.'

That must have been Seth's request then. They probably won't ever stop looking out for Dean.

'People love you.' 'Because you're not here,' comes the instant, self-deprecating reply that makes him roll his eyes so hard he should strain something. After all the love his brother gets from the fans, he still fears it won't last. That they'll move on the moment someone better comes along.

What his brother doesn't understand is that there is no one better. The fans cherish Dean just as much as Roman and Seth do. Sure, some of them might lose their interest – it's a mystery to him why they would, yet he can't hold that against anyone; people are different and things change – but Dean shouldn't care as long as the right ones stay.

'The moment I'm back, I'll whack you with a spoon for saying that. People love _you_. Period.' And he never wants to hear Dean say he's just a fleeting memory in the fan's lives. He's not a phase for Seth and him and that's all that matters to Roman. 'I also saw you shaved and looked extraordinarily fancy last night. Is that because he helped you record the promo on his phone?'

He wouldn't be surprised if Seth shows up at Smackdown or Survivor Series with a trimmed beard or a waxed chest too. Man, since they're all looking dapper as fuck he just made up his mind to say yes to that interview on Sunday, knowing exactly what he'll be wearing to make a certain impact. Seth isn't the only one who can steal Dean's wardrobe without him noticing.

'Maybe,' his brother hums, drawing out the M as long as possible, an evident smile in his voice. God, this is cute as a button. Dean and Seth are so _goddamn_ _sweet_ together. If only there'd be a Slammy Award for the most delightful couple, Roman would love to present it to his family.

'Aw, you two are so adorable,' he teases Dean, thinking for a second to add the word boyfriends, but ultimately decides against it. Dean hates that expression and he enjoys the light mood of the conversation way too much to ruin it. Which doesn't mean that he'll stop with the taunting. 'Seth even made the mistake of favoriting a tweet about you.'

'Was it a stupid one?' Like the picture of Dean getting Curb Stomped through that pile of cinderblocks? Roman had a few words with Seth after he saw it and told him he better not do that again or he would feel his unrestrained wrath during their own feud.

'No, not at all,' he assures his best friend, describing the tweet in a few short sentences, so Dean gets it. 'The internet went crazy.' His brother snickers and Roman can hear a bottle being opened. 'You search for us online?' Dean asks, stifling a burp after taking a large gulp.

Roman snorts, 'If there's one thing I have on my hands it's too much time. Anyway, everyone called Seth your fanboy. He deleted all of his favorites soon after though.' That coward.

'Oh,' is all Dean says, sounding genuinely disappointed, which is why Roman quickly announces some good news to take his mind off Seth's cravenness. 'But he's still following you.' And God help his little brother if he ever dares to unfollow Dean, just because some people assume – rightly so – how deeply he still cares for his family.

'So?' his friend snorts, a television in the background being turned on and Dean mumbles distractedly while he lowers the volume, 'I'm not active anyway.' _Dean, bigger picture._ Seriously, why does he constantly refuse to see it? 'Which is a shame by the way, your tweets were hilarious. You don't get it though, he's not even following me. Just you.'

And that's really unfair. One day, he'll get his revenge for that with an equally mean prank. Until then, he will rejoice in the knowledge that Seth never wanted to let go of Dean. Not even in the night he cut off all ties with his life and family.

'Yeah, he's dumb like that.' _Admit it, Ambrose. You wouldn't have it any other way._ 'Dude, you totally like it.' Dean laughs, a faint rustling in the background indicating that his brother is opening a bag of chips. That's so typical for Dean. He just came back from his early workout, only to stuff his favorite food into him, not caring about anything as long as he's having the time of his life.

And that's also how he prepares for his battles. He couldn't care less about any tactics or strategies – especially now that he's fighting alone –; Dean crosses his bridges when he gets there. The only thing that he does require right before a match is some peace and quiet.

Not to make a game plan. No, his brother needs that solitude to remind himself what he's fighting for and what he's willing to sacrifice.

'Damn right I do,' Dean agrees instantly, and Roman suddenly asks himself why Seth isn't there with him. He doesn't know why he expected them to keep their half-assed promise, but now that they do stay away from each other, he finds it odd and surreal.

Whatever Seth did with Dean, it has worked wonders, since his brother didn't crack. Not completely. He did flip his shit once Bray dragged his father into this and dug up some old skeletons Dean buried a whole lifetime ago. Not even him or Seth knew that Dean's father is in jail, but now that he's heard this, he understands why his friend never told them the whole truth.

What story would you rather share? That your father abandoned you or that he did something so horrible that he's rotting in jail for it?

But right now Roman worries more about his littlest brother. Bringing the Authority down has been his goal ever since he joined them, simply because he thinks this is the only way to show his family where his true loyalties lie. They've offered him to let it go, but Seth needs to do this for himself.

Now though, the tables have slightly turned. He wanted to go for slow and manipulative, not for a big bang in front of everyone's eyes.

'You ready for Survivor Series?' He has no doubt that Dean could wake up in the middle of the night, arms tied behind his back, blindfold on and still be lucid enough to beat the living hell out of Wyatt. 'I've been ready the moment Bray crossed me.'

Good, because that's not really what he wants to talk about. Thank God the doctors promised him he'd be back in action in about a month. He'll probably miss TLC, but nothing will hold him back once that is over. He has so many scores to settle and he's itching to get back into the ring.

'Seth alright?' Dean draws in a sharp breath, the crunching stopping for a while. 'He's a nervous wreck.' That's one way to say their friend is at a total loss what to do.

'Knows what's really on the line.' Yeah, he too can't stop thinking about this ever since Vince made the big announcement. Seth could lose _everything_ , since he's the poster boy of the Authority. His reputation, the Money in the Bank briefcase, his future.

Question is now, will Seth risk it all to achieve what he promised his brothers with the help of Team Cena – letting them take the glory for doing that – or does he do everything to secure his career? He's sold out to Hunter and Steph and without them, he has no one on his side.

The whole locker room will eat him alive if he lets the ship sink.

No matter what he does, neither Dean nor Roman will hold it against him; not even if he chooses to safeguard his career. It's entirely up to Seth.

He wouldn't wanna be in his place now. No one having his head on straight would. His baby brother must be the loneliest man on earth, forced to make one of the most difficult decisions ever since he chose to leave his family behind to join the Authority.

All the more reason that Dean should be with Seth right now; even if their friend begged for some space. Roman doesn't want him to bear this burden alone.

'If he and Kane play their cards right, they can achieve what Seth wanted the whole time.' Dean hums, the sound showing very vividly that his best friend is as much at a loss as Roman and Seth. 'We still couldn't be together.'

Unfortunately, that's true. This isn't over until they've had their proper feuds to get this stinging atrocity out of their systems once and for all. He knows, but it still makes him very sad that no matter what happens at Survivor Series, Seth will stand completely alone afterwards. Roman doubts that in case of a loss, he'll crawl back to Dean in public – much less that his best friend would accept the apology while knowing that nothing between them it settled yet.

Come Monday, nothing will be the same anymore.

'Is it weird that I kinda don't want him to lose?' Dean breaks the silence, making Roman smile tiredly. He's given that some thought too and there's only one answer. 'No.'

His brother just wants to protect Seth, but he can't openly do it as long as The Shield isn't back together. This situation is hard on every one of them.

'I'm back,' Roman hears his baby brother announce his return and his heart does a relieved flip. After all, Dean won't leave their friend alone in the most dire times, even if he can't take the weight off Seth's shoulders.

'Pass me that water, would you?' Seth speaks up again and Roman's longing for his family practically explodes without a warning inside his chest. 'Thank– the fuck, Dean? At least close the bottle before you throw it across the room.' Looks like Dean has his own unconventional ways to make sure Seth doesn't lose himself in the darkness either.

It's kind of depressing to see his brothers don't need him anymore, but mostly he's just proud of them as a team.

Roman knows when to retreat, so he gives his family a little something to celebrate before he hangs up to reheat his now cold lunch. 'Hey, Dean? Happy two year anniversary of The Shield.'

His best friend chuckles quietly, a warmth in his voice that reaches Roman even over the phone, making him feel like he's still always with them. 'Happy that.'


	2. we two make forever seem like one day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _'You feeling fine?' He nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat, convincing his body to do another sit-up while saying, 'I've had worse. Just some trouble–' 'Deep throating, I already heard,' Roman interrupts him exasperatedly and Dean stops his exercise, not sure if it's inappropriate to laugh out loud._
> 
> _'–sleeping,' he slowly finishes his original sentence, not able to stop the giggle escaping his mouth, wincing when that sets his voicebox on fire. He really hopes the swelling goes back soon. 'The fuck did Seth tell you?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Dean Ambrose! (I don't have anything to say other than the usual thanks and how much I appreciate each and every one of you. And that people requested Bray's attack on SD for _Let Them Hear It_. Have fun!)

**December 7th, 2014  
07:00 am**

He walks across the hallway, checking his phone to not miss the right door. Dean texted him Seth's hotel room last night after he told his best friend he wanted to send their baby brother a singing telegram that'd rudely wake him up this morning – knowing full well how much Dean loves the idea, since he wanted to do that during their feud but never managed to go through with it.

Of course he won't take Dean's prank away from him; he's only here to talk to Seth because it would be suspicious if he'd ask Dean for his hotel and room number without giving everything away. Roman hates how much lying he had to do just so his presence would be a surprise, but he wanted to be there for his best friend's birthday at all costs. Especially after the recent events.

It doesn't matter that he'll be back at work in about a week, this is Dean's day and before he misses this chance to spend time with him, hell will freeze over and the Four Horsemen – the ones from the Bible, not the faction – herald the apocalypse.

He's only here to get the information, since his friends didn't sleep together last night, but now that he is about to knock at Seth's door he knows he'll spend some of his precious time with his little brother because they haven't seen each other face to face since Roman had his emergency surgery.

When Dean told him he switched the hospital against a pompous hotel to stay there without Seth, Roman thought he'd heard that one wrong. Those two buffoons are practically glued together and on the day Dean was born they suddenly stay away from one another.

But seriously, when do they ever make sense?

He knocks, heartbeat picking up in anticipation when he hears footsteps approaching. Seth obviously just got out of bed, hair all over the place and a grumpy frown on his face that changes into a shocked expression, before he makes a little squeeing sound and yanks Roman into the room.

His friend checks the hallway for any witnesses and slams the door shut, leaning against it while watching Roman as if he expects him to flicker in and out of his vision like some ghost. Seeing this, he questions his resolve to forbid Seth visiting him in hospital; hopefully he'll be able to make up for this mistake in the future.

'And you say we take unnecessary risks,' Seth chides him, voice breaking at the end. The Authority is gone, but Seth's work isn't done yet. First, he didn't bring them down himself and second, they're trying to gain their power back.

They might not look after him at the moment – thinking he failed them by being unable to defeat Dolph Ziggler like he used to – but there are these two minions following his brother everywhere like two over-excited pups, totally obsessed with this Shield 2.0 thing and their ward.

Dean, Roman and Seth know that they can't be together as long as nothing is settled between them, as the world and Seth aren't ready to forgive him. This whole operation could take even longer than his baby brother ever imagined. And if things go completely wrong, they might never get another chance at being whole again.

But he really doesn't want to think about gloomy stuff like that on Dean's birthday. What matter the most is that soon they'll all three be on the road, which means that Roman will be able to supervise them: no more overcomplicated, bonkers ways to spend the night together.

He doesn't do difficult or weird. Things should be easy once more and Roman will make sure that his brothers' secret stays safe while guaranteeing them they won't only see each other during work. This time, they're making better plans – together.

Jamie and Joey are an unknown risk, no longer explicitly tied to Stephanie and Hunter; posing a threat to their existence and brotherhood nonetheless. Every time their family makes a step forward, something throws them back twice the distance again.

But nothing of that is of importance in this very moment, the only thing mattering is that Seth is right in front of him, rubbing his eyes as if he still isn't convinced Roman is really there. His body had been itching to do this for so long, so he closes the gap between them, pulls his brother into a tight embrace and whispers into his ear, 'You alright?'

He doesn't only mean Smackdown on Friday, where Seth got Shellshocked by Ryback – losing yet another match; he's on a negative roll these days – but also this whole muddled situation.

Seth buries his head in the crook of Roman's neck and hugs him even tighter, unwilling to let go anytime soon. 'I've had worse,' comes the tired murmur that makes him pat his friend's head for a while, running his fingers through the unkempt hair, grimacing at the broken blond patch.

He doesn't loosen the embrace, sensing that Seth needs it more than anything else, but he came here for a reason. 'Dean okay?' His brother hums thoughtfully, lips brushing against his collarbone when he asks, 'I guess, why?'

'He got stretchered out on Friday.' And Roman hasn't gotten a real answer out of Dean if he's seriously injured or not, because that moron tends to play everything down, not wanting to worry anyone. Which usually just increases Roman's sorrows instead of soothing them.

Seth sighs, before he lets go of Roman with a huge smile on his face. 'Well, he can't deep throat at the moment, but–' This is his own fault, he had to ask. He doesn't even want to hear the rest of it, so he grabs one of Seth's pillows and throws it at his face to shut his brother up.

Seth staggers back a few steps and picks up the cushion from the ground, grinning satisfied. However, the moment he puts it back on the bed, his arms come to a halt in mid-air and fear flashes over his face. 'Wait a sec, why are you here?'

Roman gently nudges his friend towards the bathroom, so he can get ready for his extreme workout session and his date with Dean later today, assuring him that he's not trying to take anything away from him. 'I just wanna know where Dean is.'

His friend gestures at the mobile phone lying on the nightstand, telling him he saved all data in his calendar and Roman takes out his own one to send all the information to himself. In the adjacent room, Seth keeps on talking while he brushes his teeth.

'There's a gym in his hotel. Birthday boy got a nice room for himself.' He scoffs, not believing this for one second. Dean doesn't give two shits about fancy stuff like that. 'Did he now?' he mutters distractedly, proofreading the address again to make sure he didn't miss anything.

Seth walks out of the bath, electric razor in hand, waving his hands around. 'Might have been birthday boy's boyfriend booking the hotel. Oh, say that four times in a row as fast as you can,' he rambles on, apparently feeling pretty chipper, now that he's seen with his own eyes that Roman's doing well. He's missed this dorky side of his baby brother a lot.

'Hey, by the way, you gonna be there for the Slammys tomorrow?' It's not like he can expect to win anything this year, or particularly wants to after he got all his awards together with his family last December.

'Haven't gotten an invitation yet,' he deflects the question, eliciting a huff out of his brother. 'As if that ever stopped you.' True. But so far he has no plans of showing up. If he goes to an arena, he wants to compete in the ring again. Not just stand there backstage and envy everyone who gets to wrestle.

He takes a few steps forward to lean against the doorframe and watch Seth trim his beard in the mirror. 'You want me to congratulate you on your win for the Double Cross of the Year?' Brown eyes spark up – not at the mention of the betrayal but because he apparently didn't think he would get a Slammy this year – and Roman sighs inwardly when Seth turns around to ask, 'You think I'll win?'

If he doesn't the world makes no sense to Roman anymore. But maybe he's biased here. What he does hope for is that Dean and Seth win the award for the Best Match and Rivalry of the Year, which they totally deserve. Even with The Shield being nominated for those categories too. Man, how weird would it be if they'd win something this year?

Both his brothers are up for a lot of categories and they should walk home with more than just one prize.

As nice as it is to be here with Seth, to have some normalcy back, he has no time to dilly-dally. Smiling he looks at his watch and inquires, 'You'll pick him up at two?' Seth sags his shoulders and picks up his task again, breathing out a disheartened, 'If that's okay with you.'

It's no use to blame Seth for the fact that it's his fault they have to keep their brotherhood a secret. There's nothing they can change about that now anyway and his friend knows that better than anyone. What he _can_ do is hug Seth from behind, plant a kiss at the back of his head and turn to leave to not lose any more time.

Oh, and there's one more thing he has to get off his chest. 'Make sure we can celebrate our birthdays together again soon. It feels wrong leaving you behind.'

Seth just stares at him through the mirror, eyes shimmering woefully. He walks out of the door before either of them can say anything else. Roman doesn't want to spend his best friend's birthday mourning the loss of a brother.

* * *

**08:13 am**

Dean is working out in the gym of this stupidly big and luxurious hotel that surprisingly isn't as well stocked as other fitness studios. Still beats running around in the city in December though. He really misses his desert and the solitude of it. Dean's alone now too, but his loud, raspy breathing bounces off the walls, penetrating his ears.

It was nice of Seth to book him this place for his birthday, yet he feels caged and bored to death while lifting these weights. Actually, he really wants to know what'll happen if he throws the iron at the wall or the huge mirror he has to look at the whole time; the white, stabilizing bandages around his neck a constant reminder of his lack of attention.

Destroying something is like an itch he can't scratch. No, that's not entirely true. He felt like the king of the world when he smashed that damned rocking chair into pieces. Bray wanted a monster, so he showed him one. Of course, Dean got the payback for that Friday night. That was awesome by the way; they totally should do that again soon.

Tables Ladder Chairs – and Stairs – will be the final chapter of this mind game bullshit; cause he really has no intentions of dragging this into the Royal Rumble, if he should get a spot in the big match that is. He doesn't want to fuck up his chance of making it to Wrestlemania by still feuding with Mr My Beard Has Its Own Beard. Dean swears, if someone fucks up one of his matches ever again, he _will_ go berserk.

Speaking of, he should probably rest for a few minutes, since his arms feel like the next lift will break them in two and his respiration has become ragged to the point it hurts. He's pushed himself beyond his limits already and he loves every second of it.

When the door to the gym opens, Dean wants to bark at the intruder, but the words won't come out as soon as his eyes land on the other person. There he is, that lying jerk, showing up unannounced in sweatpants and a navy blue v-neck, hair tied back into a bun.

Before he can embrace his best friend, Roman flicks his forehead, murmuring tenderly, 'That's for saying people love me more than you.' Well, he promised to do that, so it's only fair. Even on a day like this. Doesn't change his opinion in the slightest, but hey, who cares?

Roman doesn't seem fazed by his sweat-covered clothes sticking uncomfortably to his skin, hugging him with a huge grin and wishing him a happy birthday. Now _that_ 's the right way to start this day after waking up all alone and feeling like he's having the worst anxiety attack ever, since it lasts for over thirty hours already. Properly breathing or swallowing are almost impossible and it's driving him up the walls.

'You lied to me,' he accuses his best friend while smacking him gently on the shoulder, still not used to his hoarse, cracking voice. 'You said you have an important appointment today.' He thought that Roman would have to go see a doctor, because he's scheduled to come back soon – having his eyes set on Seth and Rusev for some strange reason. Maybe he wants to prove that he can defeat that ugly Russian in a fair fight. Maybe he wants to get Dean's baby back. He can't be bothered to ask.

'I do,' Ro rumbles, 'with you.' How flattering. Seems like today won't be so bad after all. He got a bit worried last night, knowing his family wouldn't be able to be together.

'Then let's go.' He's done with workout anyway. It's his damn birthday, he can take it slow just once. Roman though shakes his head, looking at him sternly. 'No slacking.' Yeah, he kinda saw that one coming.

His best friend is such a stickler for rules these days. It's an absolute miracle he hasn't put a dog collar around his and Seth's neck yet to make sure they behave.

'You good to go?' Dean asks grudgingly, getting down on the mat to do sit-ups. He doesn't want Roman to hurt or re-injure anything just because his brother insisted on spending time with him. He'd rather work out alone than having to wait even longer until they're reunited.

'As good as new,' his friend reassures him, flexing his muscles as if to show him he's ready to start a brawl right here. Roman should know better than to tempt him. There's still a lot of residual wrath simmering inside of him, waiting to be let out in due time.

'We'll be on the road together soon.' His head jerks up, ears yearning to hear those words once more. He hasn't even allowed himself to properly think about that; just hoped Ro would recover nicely and as fast as he could.

And to be honest, the _sneaking around to see Seth_ thing helped him temporarily forget that there was something vital missing. The severe loneliness only ever hit Dean the worst when he was in a car, sometimes sharing a ride with other people to not be alone after he spent the night or day with Seth.

He never thought he'd miss Roman and their conversations, their banter and bickering and their ridiculous fist fights over what program to watch or what to eat this much. Dean can't wait to only drive around the country with his big brother at his side; simply because they're so in tune with each other and no matter how long they spend in silence, it never becomes weird or oppressive.

'Whatever Seth gets me, nothing'll be better than this,' he grits out, throat constricting painfully while watching his best friend lie down to lift the weights he just abandoned, shooting him a confused look. 'That wasn't– If I had known it's that easy, I wouldn't have spent any money on your actual gift.'

They both laugh, though Dean is a bit stunned by this statement. So he gets more than just his brother back? Which is all he wanted, to be honest. Man, the only thing that could make this even better would be Seth being here too.

For a few minutes they work out in silence, but Dean is already on cloud nine. He can't remember when he last was in a gym with a part of his family. Usually, if he's lucky, he stumbles over guys like Cena and Ziggler in local health clubs, but sometimes he has to share them with the people he rather wants to drown in a filthy toilet.

It never sucked so much that he's not a CrossFit guy like Seth or Cesaro, because then he'd have an excuse to be publicly seen with his alleged former brother without having to rip his head off.

'You feeling fine?' Roman breaks the quiet, pointing at his throat to allude at the cheap shot on Smackdown. Bray's so gonna regret this. Though Dean has to admit that he is kinda thankful The Shield isn't together at the moment, because he's sure Wyatt would have hurt one of them in retaliation for him smashing Abby's chair. And only God knows what side of Dean that would have set free.

He nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat, convincing his body to do another sit-up while saying, 'I've had worse. Just some trouble–' 'Deep throating, I already heard,' Roman interrupts him exasperatedly and Dean stops his exercise, not sure if it's inappropriate to laugh out loud.

'–sleeping,' he slowly finishes his original sentence, not able to stop the giggle escaping his mouth, wincing when that sets his voicebox on fire. He really hopes the swelling goes back soon. 'The fuck did Seth tell you?'

'Nothing,' Roman squeezes out embarrassed, a tiny blush creeping over his face. Dean grins, mentally high fiving his friend for making their big brother uncomfortable. That's his boy.

They spend the next twenty minutes or so talking about sports, movies and music – or rather, Roman does the talking so he can nurse his throat; Dean choosing the treadmill to finish his session, while Roman works on his biceps. It feels like in the good old times, as if he didn't get Curb Stomped through a pile of cinderblocks and Ro never had to undergo emergency surgery. It's been months since they had such a great time.

At one point Roman asks him why he mostly keeps it to promos these days – other than at house shows – to which he replies that this feud isn't about humiliating Bray by playing childish pranks on him. He won't run after the guy like he always tried to get his hands on Seth.

No, this is a battle of minds and Dean wants to get under Bray's skin more than he craves to physically punish him. Which doesn't mean he's not saving it all for TLC, because then it shall end. Dean has bigger fish to fry.

Roman puts the weights away, watching him through the gigantic mirror with a thoughtful expression. Judging by it, he won't like to hear what his brother has to say next. 'Seth and I, we're gonna die a thousand deaths during that match. Swear to me you'll let him suffer but that you'll also take care of yourself.'

'Can do. Promise,' he adds when Roman throws him a censorious glare. 'But it'll be a bloody mess.' He chose all three types of weapons for a reason which means he intends to use them to his advantage. Dean couldn't get his closure in a cell, so he wants to show the world to not screw him in the other most painful match that exists in the WWE.

No one is allowed to break him and Seth up, to interfere in his business and he wants the whole world to fucking finally get that. One doesn't take things away from Dean Ambrose without it raining punishment.

Roman sighs, sounding a bit defeated when he mutters, 'Exactly your kind of thing, I know.' Whoa, what's with the sudden grumpy face? He's fought with Dean in a TLC match already, knows what that environment does to him and everyone else, but if the past six months haven't turned him back into the rabid Street Dog, then this fight won't either.

Cause at the end of the night, there's someone waiting for him, willing to pick up the broken pieces – should there be any. And since he wants to be a good partner, he'd do the same for Seth without thinking twice about it.

He stops jogging to look his brother in the eyes, body screaming in joy that it can finally inhale and exhale regularly once more. It's important his best friend believes every word he says now; Dean really doesn't want to have this conversation ever again. 'Used to, Ro. It's just– now that I'm alone, bits and pieces come back.' It's a natural process, his own little evolution.

He doesn't have to hold back anymore, there's no one he needs to take care of in the ring. It's just him and whoever is stupid enough to step in his way.

Roman stays quiet for a very long time, gaze fixed on the ground. It's bothering Dean to no end, but he thinks it's better to be patient than forcing his brother to accept everything he throws at him. And he can see that there's more to it than Ro lets on. Three minutes and twenty-four seconds later he's finally able to share his concern. 'You know we're afraid of losing you to yourself?'

Really, there's absolutely no need to be. Not ever since he has a family that grounds him. If he falls, there are two people catching him. It's because of his brothers that he is stronger than ever, physically and mentally, and able to have this feud with Wyatt without crumbling to pieces.

He hops off the machine and hugs his brother close to his chest. 'Not going anywhere.' Why do they still think he'd be the one leaving? As if he'd ever voluntarily abandon his one safe haven, the source of his peace of mind. He may not be the smartest guy and he tends to not think everything through, but he's not that dumb. All he's trying to do is balance all parts of himself out differently because so much has changed lately.

Roman doesn't look at him but he nods and claps him on the back, shoving him towards the exit and the elevator. 'Time for some breakfast.' Seems like that was good enough, at least for now, though he'll probably never stop worrying. It's one of those things Roman constantly does; it's in his blood, but that makes him such an awesome big brother.

'Off we hop then,' he agrees, stomach already grumbling in anticipation. He hasn't had a lot to eat since Friday, nor has he had breakfast outside with a part of his family in forever and fuck him, he'll enjoy that opportunity at all costs.

After they took a shower in his room, had a change of clothes and bandages, they search for a decent looking, not too crowded place near the hotel, so they can go back if too many people recognize them in their poor disguise.

Of course, there are fans spotting them in the Waffle House, but they're kind enough to wait until they finished their meal while he desperately tries to swallow something, _anything_. A bunch of them yell birthday wishes at him, others sit around awkwardly, watching them eat kinda impatiently, and as soon as they're done they get swarmed, people begging for autographs and those selfies.

It's nice; he loves interacting with his fans but this day only has so many hours and he wishes to spend every second of it with his true family. He doesn't want to be rude, it's just that Seth will pick him up in three hours and his time with Roman is ticking away mercilessly.

After a while his best friend pays for everything – oh, he could get used to that – and they say their goodbye to disappear into the crowd that walks in the direction of his hotel. As soon as they're back safe and sound in his room, he drinks in air, listening to his brother snicker.

'Don't get me wrong; this has been awesome so far, but I do miss Seth in our middle.'

Dean chuckles tiredly, knowing exactly what it's like to long for one brother, a part of himself, day and night – already dreading the time when Roman will make sure that he and Seth will stop their reckless behavior and keep them apart for all the right reasons.

'Thought you'd never admit it,' he murmurs, letting go of the gloomy feeling, because today is supposed to be fun. Roman's here, Seth will swing by later and tonight he's gonna leave another mark in Bray's mind. No way he's gonna sit back and let the man treat him like that. So he breathes out all the shit going on right now and puts on a smile, ruffling through Roman's perfect, jet-black hair.

'Don't fret, my mighty co-alpha, the hounds will be back sooner than you think. I mean, have you seen Seth lately? Like, really looked at him?' Roman frowns, not understanding what Dean is getting at. 'He won't be able to put up with this whole Shield 2.0 thing for long. Monday night he came running to me, begging for forgiveness because he did our Triple Powerbomb.'

'What'd you say?' Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes. As if he has any right to judge others. Ever since Survivor Series, Seth, having lost his goal, is floating around aimlessly because he doesn't know what to do anymore. Dean's there to help his friend find his path again, but he won't punish him for his overzealous bodyguards who are so in awe of Seth that they'd sell their souls to be anything like him.

He shrugs, muttering, 'Since he wanted some kind of sentence, I told him you'd kick his ass for it.' Roman nods, a small smile on his lips before he searches in his suitcase for a wrapped gift, handing it to Dean with sparkling eyes. Judging by the sheer size of it, there aren't any football or concert tickets in it, which he kind of expected to be honest.

If Roman dares to present him with a horror or romance flick or gives him a ridiculously thick book he'll most likely loose before he can even finish the first chapter, Dean's gonna put some Nair in his shampoo.

He rips the paper off eagerly, carelessly discarding the torn pieces and just stares at the collection of DVDs in his hands. This is unfuckingbelievable. Dean only mentioned this fleetingly back in FCW, at the tentative beginning of their friendship. He never imagined Roman remembered it.

He knows Seth did cause he recently mentioned it in an interview, but that's different for very obvious reasons.

There's a DVD filled with matches from his stint with wXw, where he held the Tag Team Championship for ten months five years ago, and a whole self-compiled, three-disk collection from the oldest known wrestling promotion in the world called _Verband Der Berufsringer_ that was founded in 1912.

Which means he has even more black and white wrestling matches – in crappy quality and with commentary he doubts even Cesaro would understand – he can watch in his free time. This is just like in his youth. Throwback Sunday or something like that.

'Yours is actually for Seth. I bet he'll take it as soon as he sees it.' No doubt about that. 'Do me a favor and share that with him. And I thought we could watch some too, maybe find a nice looking, antique double team move,' Roman further suggests with a lopsided grin, lying down on the bed just like he did whenever they were getting ready for movie night. It makes him miss Seth even more – regardless of the fact that he spends almost every evening with him.

Thing is, Dean's not only a wrestler, he's also a wrestling fan. He's said it once years ago and things haven't changed since then. He owes pro wrestling his life. It even gave him the best family on earth.

He knows that his brothers can't quite understand his passion to binge-watch all kinds of old or exotic wrestling tapes, simply because his whole life already revolves around that profession. They never sat down with him – not that he'd acknowledged their presence anyway, being too absorbed in the events –, using their free time to do whatever they wanted to.

If he recalls correctly, Seth either did something with his hair, worked out some more or put on his headphones to turn on that horrific noise he calls music while Roman sat down to play some games on his phone or the PSP. The only thing they did share during those moments was the loving smile they shot at him when he lost himself in the matches.

It's a really touching gesture that his big brother offers to endure German wrestling from a hundred years ago, just so they can do something that Dean enjoys together. And the prospect of finding their own new and improved double team move? Hell yeah.

'I'd love to.'

* * *

**03:32 pm**

They finally reach their destination with more than an hour delay. Seth just couldn't resist spending some more time with Roman after not seeing him at all since September. He can't put into words how relieved he felt when he'd opened the door in the morning.

Watching his brother mouthing off on a television screen to get everyone excited for a feud between them is one thing. Being able to touch and hug his friend is something way better. And even if the three of them had been together for just fifty minutes, none of them could have been any happier.

In fact, Dean stopped the DVD that was running – thank God, because Seth had no idea how they could endure those commentators screaming in whatever language – to pull him towards them, Roman in the middle, so they could cuddle like they used to, declaring this was his birthday present for himself.

How could he have said no to that?

So he stayed until Roman threw them out, promising he'd still be here whenever they decided to show up again. Seth used his grabby fingers and pulled a Winona Ryder, borrowing the Westside Xtreme Wrestling DVD collection because for one, he knows that Dean isn't thrilled to watch his own matches and for two, he hasn't seen any of those so far but would give his pinkie to do so.

Contrary to the clothes he constantly steals from his brother, he will give this one back as soon as possible. Maybe he should leave a little note saying he took it. Not that Dean fears he's lost it and freaks out, taking the whole hotel apart to find it again.

Okay fine, he'll tell Dean later tonight. Until then, he will keep it in the glove box. And since Dean is wearing a blindfold to not see where they drove to, he won't be able to tell Seth committed a tiny crime.

'You're not taking me to the coast,' Dean croaks out, sounding like he has the world's worst cold, fingers scratching over the bandage covering his neck, 'are you?' What, no. Why would he do that? As if he'd take Dean on a beach date where everyone could see them, just so he can watch a sunset while he digs his feet into the sand and holds his boyfriend's hand during _winter_.

That's even too corny and ordinary for him and _that_ says a lot.

'Only if I wanna dump you,' he answers, chuckling at the double meaning and Dean's low dissatisfied grumble. Yeah, right? As if he'd ever be the one breaking up this relationship. He'd probably become one of those obsessed ex-boyfriends that stalk their former partners to get them back.

'Ha ha,' his brother mutters, reaching blindly for the doorhandle when the car comes to a halt. Seth jumps out and helps his brother walk into the right direction. He briefly lets go of him to close the gate, coming back to a Dean with arms crossed over his chest and a reprimanding question on his lips. 'Seth, why are we outside?'

For Dean it must feel like they're in public, even though the silence around them should be indicator enough that there isn't anyone else here. But isn't it cute how worried his brother is that someone might see them? Now, all of a sudden he minds. Usually, he couldn't care less; leaving all the hiding and flipping out to Seth.

Today, no one will disturb them until Dean is done with his present. Seth went to great lengths to make sure that the place will be deserted. No security cameras, no merchants or clients, no nothing. Just him, Dean and his gift.

It wasn't easy to organize this. Actually, he was close to quitting out of frustration more than once. It all started with him finding out Dean'd be in Greenville and he in Charlotte for a house show on the seventh. He'd kinda hoped they'd get the day off but since the Authority is out of power and Seth has no say whatsoever anymore, they'll have to work.

He wracked his brain what to give his friend because he wanted it to be special. Like, really unique. It's a bit of a _forgive me for being so stupid and leaving you_ and an _I'm so grateful you are still in my life_ present. As soon as he knew what it would be, he despaired because of all the other odds he had to conquer.

Seth knows no one in town who owes him a favor or who he could bribe into aiding him, but thankfully Kane helped him with this one after he whined about his misery one too many times – while also unintentionally ignoring his friend's current problems –, giving him a telephone number he should call.

He didn't at first until none other than the Undertaker texted him that it'd be okay to trust the person on the other end of the line. And if someone like Taker says the guy's alright, then he has no other choice than to believe it. It's the rules. He had no clue who would pick up the phone, almost crying out loud when Jeff greeted him by his name – already in the know about the plan.

If possible, he should do Kane a little favor too; other than handing him a chair to beat up Ryback. Hooking him up with the Hardys was the best thing that could have happened to Seth. They did the whole work, knowing their way around this part of North Carolina like the back of their hand.

One day after confiding in them, Matt wrote him a text with the address of this place, assuring him they know the owner, that no one would ask any questions and that Dean and he wouldn't be disturbed by anyone. They didn't even inquire why he wanted to do this for his former Shield brother, just wanted to make sure he won't harm Dean in any way.

There was no need to tell them the whole story, but it somehow felt like the right thing to do. No one can even begin to understand how hard it is to keep all of it a secret and not constantly talk about how much he misses his family and tries to protect it with all his might.

It helped a lot that Matt and Jeff aren't working for the WWE anymore, where they would meet every day. That's also why he's still fine Kane told the Undertaker, with him barely being there and all. But he does hope that he won't have to trust anyone else with the truth in the near future again. One day his blind faith will break his neck, though he doesn't really mind if it's for Dean.

The hardest part – yeah, after all that there still was something that worried him even more – was to get rid of Noble and Mercury. Those two are like his worst nightmare. That they're not breaking into his hotel room to watch him sleep at night is little short of a miracle.

And then there's the whole Shield 2.0 thing. What the heck are they thinking? There is no second Shield and even if there were, he wouldn't wanna be a part of it, let alone their leader. Dean, Rome and Seth, they are the original Hounds of Justice and no one will ever compare to them.

Especially not two wannabe security guards who can't even reach the plates in their own kitchen cupboards without a ladder.

'Don't worry,' he calms Dean down, taking his hand to guide him through the yard. 'The place is all ours for the day, locked down tightly. No security, no staff.' He's a couple hundred bucks poorer but that was totally worth it. Dean will love what's coming next; he just knows it.

Seth unties the knot in the blindfold and announces proudly before he takes it off, 'Just us and this. Happy birthday, Batman.' For a moment his friend doesn't move, just squints his eyes because of the sudden brightness and then because of what he sees. It's amusing how Dean fights with himself to not say anything cynical.

In the end his brother clears his throat and turns his head towards him, pointing at the present with a cute little scowl on his face. 'You bought me a crappy car that should stay exactly where it is: at a scrap yard.' Even with the strong eyebrow game going on, Dean somehow manages to sound entertained and curious as to why Seth would think a pile of junk is the perfect gift.

He can't hide the smirk, walking around the used Ford to get to part two of this present. 'I did buy you this car,' Seth sing-songs, enjoying the irritated look on his friend's face way too much to solve the mystery yet. 'But, behold, it's not all you get.'

Dean claps his hands together and bounces on his heels, clearly making fun of him when he rasps excitedly, 'You'll wear my ugly holiday sweater all Christmas long. No wait, you got me a STD? Just what I always wanted.'

 _Wait for it, man._ 'I will wear that abomination if you and Rome get an equally hideous sweater. And no, sorry, they were out of the good ones,' he retorts and sticks his tongue out at Dean who promptly mimics his childish behavior. 'No, dummy, you get this and Hunter's favorite plaything.'

Now he managed to seriously confuse the hell out of his brother. If only he'd have a surprise like this every day, because he loves how Dean blinks owlishly, emotions varying between disbelief and the wish to throttle Seth. Ultimately he just settles for well-meant sarcasm.

'If you want to be my present, I demand you in gift wrap and a conveniently placed ribbon. Hid in a present for an hour just for you too,' he adds, both of them grinning at the memory. 'Not me. You already have me,' he clarifies, waving Dean over so he can see what else Seth has in store for him.

'I meant the Great Equalizer.' He picks it up and holds it in front of his stomach, waiting for Dean to grab it. He knows that it's vital Dean does this today not with a monkey wrench or a crowbar, but with the one tool that had a tiny role in the end of The Shield.

Part of him ran away from Dean and the responsibility like a scolded dog, but another one wanted to protect him and Roman from Evolution, as well as the Authority. They did defeat them in the ring over and over, but in the end they always were the losers. This particular weapon hit Dean right in the feels more than once.

Seeing the sledgehammer Dean finally gets why they're here and what he's allowed to do with the used, beat up car. 'Are you serious?' This time he doesn't have to fake anything; Dean is completely overwhelmed by this. He freaking knew it.

Come tomorrow, his brother will only have the fond memory of this day and nothing he can watch whenever he pleases, but Seth guesses that's okay because neither of them will ever forget this moment.

'Yeah,' he nods, holding out the hammer for Dean to take. Seth points at the car and steps back, knowing this will be a beautiful, destructive mess with a lot of rubble but also tons of excitement for his friend. 'All yours, baby.'

Dean looks down at the sledgehammer, biting on his bottom lip, before he grins devilishly and kisses Seth roughly – even a bit longingly –, jumping on the trunk to take position on the roof. 'God, I love you.'

And with that he swings the thing to break the windshield. Yeah, there's nothing better than to smash a used car with a tool that's brought him so much physical and psychological pain, releasing all tension, anger, resentment, whatever Dean needs to let go, so he can head into TLC and tear the place down, putting Bray in his place once and for all.

Seth watches his brother take it all out on the poor car, heart fluttering around in his ribcage. This time, Dean didn't scream it in his face but was as serious as he's always been when he confessed his feelings. It's truly amazing that he doesn't even realize he's said it.

Maybe that's a sign that Dean is getting used to it. One can always hope.

He takes a couple of steps back when shards of broken glass fly towards him, some getting tangled up in the hair sticking out under his gray beanie. Dean's hitting the car over and over, new dents joining old ones, doing a great job of demolishing the poor Ford Fiesta, a relaxed and pleased look on his face. He's probably imagining the face of everyone who ever crossed him – Seth included – on the car to make this experience more worthwhile and fun.

This is exactly what Dean needed. Sex as therapy and a way to anchor himself to reality is fine and dandy, but there are times when his brother must unleash _everything_ and, try as he might, Seth can't take all of that. This car though can.

'Happy birthday, Dean.'


	3. the wound that would not heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This trophy is definitely an honor, even though he wouldn't have begrudged Dean or Seth the Slammy. Though his baby brother got _and_ took enough awards already anyway. What does he wanna do with them? Return them to the flames of Mount Doom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple Update! Now before I go on anyone's nerves I can assure you that I'm not planning on updating next week. I wish you all lots of fun with TLC tonight and the chapter of course =3

**Slammy Awards  
December 08, 2014**

John Cena's music hits when Roman rounds the corner and promptly runs into the guy he was searching for. He doesn't hit him square in the face – even though he probably should – but he also refuses to apologize.

He would, no doubt about that, if the two of them were alone, yet he can't since Seth is flanked by his two new best friends, who look up at him as if he's the center of their world; as if they can't make a decision all on their own. However Seth bewitched them, they would take a bullet for him for all the wrong reasons.

He might hate this whole Shield 2.0 thing, yet it's growing into something Seth soon won't be able to control anymore. It should be his duty to tell his friend that he's walking on very thin ice here, but since Dean hasn't lost a single word about it so far either, it can only mean one thing and Roman doesn't want to interfere in that.

Some lessons Seth needs to learn the hardest way possible.

'I got this,' his brother orders Joey and Jamie to leave and Roman can't help it, he has to grin when he sees the insecurity in their eyes. They already have left their ward alone tonight and it seems like they're reluctant to do so once more.

Paul Heyman is one thing, Roman Reigns someone far more dangerous.

'You sure?' Jamie asks and it's fascinating how the real Seth gets replaced by the other one, his voice turning cold and impatient. 'Don't ever question me again.' Wow, pretty authoritative for a puppy.

Roman huffs out a laugh, both of those minions flinching at the sound. They really think he would harm Seth backstage, where no one could see it when he can do that in front of the whole world in just one week? He's not the only one who wants to see Seth begging for his dear life in the ring. And he has more self-control than Dean, no matter what people say.

'One tough leader you are,' he mocks his friend to not raise any suspicion, waving at these so-called security guards while they still don't know if it wouldn't be wiser to defy the command. Seth loses his temper – or, to be more precise, pretends to –, yelling at them to finally get lost. This is a sight Roman will most likely never get used to.

Noble and Mercury finally step aside, albeit a bit apprehensively, walking backwards for a while to not let him out of sight. Seth never turns around, just keeps staring at Roman until he winks to show they're as alone as they will ever be and it takes a few seconds until all malice leaves his brother's body.

Seth pouts and gives him a friendly clap on the shoulder. 'You said you wouldn't be here.' Roman snickers and looks at the golden statue in his hand, still basking in the loud cheer he got from the fans, shaking his head.

'I said, I hadn't gotten an invitation yet. But as fate would have it, I got one,' he corrects his friend, gesturing towards the roof of the arena. He still doesn't know why he got the call to be here tonight, but he's glad he came. This trophy is definitely an honor, even though he wouldn't have begrudged Dean or Seth the Slammy.

Though his baby brother got _and_ took enough awards already anyway. What does he wanna do with them? Return them to the flames of Mount Doom?

Seth blinks confused, looking up at the ceiling to whisper hesitantly, 'From God?' Maybe he should use this Slammy to whack his friend with it. 'Vince.'

His brother clears his throat and changes the subject before Roman can laugh, pointing at the gold in his hands. 'Congrats, man.' He does a little mocking curtsy and claps Seth on the cheek after he made sure no one is watching them.

'Look who's talking. You're the one who won the most awards tonight and stole two others. I kinda want Sting to kick your ass for that too, since Randy will definitely do it.' Seth just scoffs, instinctively leaning into the touch – the sight breaking Roman's heart a tiny bit.

'We all won something tonight,' his brother murmurs, trusting him so much that he even closes his eyes for a moment. 'I'd say the future of the WWE is in the hands of three very capable men.' Together or not, they do own the business.

'Sure is,' he mutters, letting go of Seth when he hears footsteps. His time is running out and the match should be over soon too, which means that his brother has to go, surely intending to humiliate John Cena further to head into TLC with as much advantage as he can.

He tries to not wince at the sad and disappointed look on his brother's face, knowing that he'll be happy in two seconds again. Roman hands Seth a folded piece of paper, whispering secretively, 'Join us if you can get rid of your mall cops.'

Seth slips the sheet into his glove before he brushes his shoulder against Roman's, mask back in place to fool the extra walking past them in this moment. 'I'll be there,' his friend promises as soon as the guy's out of earshot, voice hoarse and eager at the same time. He probably thought Roman would want Dean all to himself for the rest of the year.

But he's learned from the past. Roman knows how left out Seth feels most of the time, even when they had their run as The Shield. It doesn't matter that he landed Dean as his boyfriend, he still envies the bond his partner and Roman share. And he'll definitely never stop doing that.

'I shouldn't be saying this,' he admits, voice barely audible, stepping forward to talk directly into Seth's ear. 'But tear him apart.' Seth lets out his trademark, high and mighty bark of a laugh and walks in the direction of the ring, shouting, 'It'll be my pleasure.'

* * *

**00:09 am**

As soon as Seth has closed the door behind him, Dean steps out of the bathroom, toothbrush hanging loosely between his lips, finger pointing accusingly at them. 'Guys, I love you, I really do, but you need to stop stealing my clothes.' Whoa, rewind please. Since when is Dean able to say that? And why didn't Seth tell him?

It's really time for him to come back. Not that he'd ever make a big deal out of it, because it doesn't seem like Dean has any idea what huge impact those words have on him or Seth, but he can't hide the satisfied, proud grin. He should probably say something though to divert his brother's attention from it.

'But I look so good in leather,' he complains, not at all wiling to give his new gear up. Dean was right, those clothes really are super comfortable and the fans totally dig them.

'That's what he said,' Dean grumbles, now nodding at Seth, who's still clad in his ring attire and feels like he has to justify his sticky hands before he even properly arrived here. 'I just love wearing your hoodies and shirts at night. Makes me feel less alone.'

Aw, as if they don't know that already. 'That I get,' his brother moans, walking back into the bath to spit out the toothpaste and rinse his mouth. When he returns into their room, Roman shrugs and watches Dean take off Seth's jacket to throw it on the sofa, both of them acting like a well-oiled machine. It's fascinating and heart-warming.

'I just happen to like your style. And your leather jackets.' Dean rolls his eyes and puts on a worn out shirt with a hole right under his pecs. 'Yeah, that I get too.' His best friend scrutinizes both of them before he groans loudly, waving at his stuff while announcing, 'Fine, but my belt buckles are off limits. Just leave me _some_ clothes. I don't wanna head to the ring naked one day.'

Seth snickers, fighting his way out of the tight leather pants. 'I wouldn–' 'You have no say in this,' he gets interrupted by Dean who gives him an affectionate clap on the back. Look at those two and how they've found their own tune, _their_ rhythm. It'll be a joy watching this relationship grow and stumble and get up to become twice as strong as it had been before.

Seth starts getting ready for bed, grinning happily because he assumed very correctly that tonight he'd get his first of many sleepovers, while Dean flips through a magazine without really reading anything and Roman checks some of his mails until he hears a thump that makes him look up.

'Here,' Seth proclaims, gesturing at the Slammy on the table in front of Dean. 'What's that?' his best friend asks; knowing full well _what_ it is, in fact only interested to know _why_ Seth decided to show this to them.

'Faction of the Year. I picked it up.'

Now look at that cheeky bastard, claiming the last remains of the fame of the Hounds of Justice once again. Dean seems to think so too, because he throws the magazine at the award, the golden statue almost falling down. Seth catches it in the last second, a hurt expression flashing over his face.

'You mean you and your goons,' Dean points out before their brother can complain that he doesn't treat the trophy with the respect it deserves. So Dean saw them backstage too. But from the looks of it, he does his best to appear like he couldn't care less.

'And speaking of, do you even realize that you haven't been alone ever since we debuted? Calling yourself the living, breathing, undisputed future of the WWE even though you certainly don't act or win alone.' Holy fuck, where did that low blow come from? Even Roman feels insulted. It doesn't matter that it's the truth, this shit went one step too far.

'That's not true,' his baby brother grits out defensively, but Roman thinks he's only trying half-heartedly. Like he knows Dean has a point and that he can't sugarcoat this any longer. Although it's not the right thing to do, Roman is curious what'll happen when he agrees with Dean.

'Well, obviously there was The Shield, then you left us for Hunter and Steph, bonded with Randy and Kane, Team Authority and now you have these lovely, little cream puffs at your side. Though, to be fair, Kane never left you.'

Seth shoots him a betrayed glare that tells him very clearly that he never believed Roman would side with him just once, but still hoped he'd prove him wrong. Okay, now he feels guilty.

Honestly, he doesn't have a problem with this. If their friend wants to do things this way, fine. As long as he's aware of what he's doing and what consequences his actions have, Roman won't stop him.

'Never alone,' Dean mutters, putting his feet on the table. It's not meant to be offensive, more like a teasing wake up call – just as Vince McMahon's little brass ring speech during Stone Cold's podcast had been for the entire locker room.

Seth sighs, throwing up his hands in defeat. 'I don't know how to get rid of them.' There they finally go. So, the master of all plans is lost at the moment. Why didn't he say so right away? It's not like Dean and Roman would punish him for the truth. They only leave him to his own devices when he's telling them lies.

Seth looks down to the ground, whispering a tad ashamed, 'You promised you wouldn't be mad.' Wait a second. Did they have this conversation before? Man, he missed out on so much, he can't wait to be back for good. No doubt about it, Seth and Dean making progress is fine, but he prefers being there to witness it. It's a selfish wish, he knows that, yet he can't be bothered to care.

Roman finally gets what Seth goes through most of the time, understands the blatant _need_ to get his family's approval and love. He is so not used to feeling like this. And to be honest, he absolutely loathes it.

'I'm not,' Dean assures and to his defense, Roman has to say he doesn't sound nor does he look angry. 'What was it? I was the one who created The Shield blah blah. Seems like you founded a new one.' Yet this statement hints at a lot of residual fury. If Seth wouldn't see the fond expression on Dean's face, he'd most likely take offense by his words.

'I didn't. It just happened.' Seth's desire to still defend himself shows very clearly that Dean had been right yesterday. Their brother dislikes this whole Shield 2.0 thing, has no idea what to do about it, except for seeing where it'll lead and if he can somehow destroy it along the way.

The events caught him off-guard and now he's stuck in between this new group that wants to be a faction – at least two thirds of it does – but it all stands and falls with Seth. He's their leader, their hero. It's time for Dean and Roman to set him free. They've talked about it so often, have tried to show their brother that he can stop pretending, but Seth always refused, afraid of losing them if he lets go.

'It's okay,' he hears himself say. 'Go with it.' Both his brothers whip their heads around and it's highly entertaining to see their different reactions. Seth looks like someone released him from his chains while Dean angrily frowns at him, the silent question _what the fuck, Ro?_ echoing through the room.

If they keep Seth close, he'll always try to cater to their needs first because he's more concerned about making it up to them than looking after himself. While that's noble and laudable, neither Dean nor he intentionally want to cut off Seth's wings.

He knows this, Dean certainly is aware of it – has reminded Roman more than once, to be frank –, but this goddamn Slammy flipped a switch inside of his brother.

He chooses to stay silent until Dean has poured out his woes to them, knowing that that's exactly what he needs. He doesn't do it very often, so every time he decides to share his thoughts, Roman listens very carefully.

'No, Ro, it's not okay,' his best friend goes on a rampage and Seth ducks his head, knowing this will hurt everyone in this room. ' _We_ were The Shield. _We_ wanted him to be with us. Actually, I was the one, but let's forget that for now.' Well, well. Seems like this wound won't ever stop stinging.

Dean trusted someone to be a part of him and got taught another hurtful lesson in how the world works. It's fascinating that he managed to do it another time, letting Seth in again, even with his belief that history tends to repeat itself.

' _He_ left and took everything with him when it got too much. Instead of just coming to us and talk about it. Whatever you claim, Seth, you ran away and now you're becoming a part of exactly the same thing; only this time you're the boss and it's with the cruiserweight division.'

Wow. That was the first time Dean has given them a tiny glimpse of what he truly thinks about all this. And unfortunately, he's right with everything he said. Still, they made an agreement to let the past go and it helps no one to blame Seth for everything that went wrong.

Roman should have taken better care of them, should've seen that Seth was suffering and starting to feel uneasy for various reasons. That he couldn't handle his or Dean's feelings anymore. 'Dee,' he warns his best friend to not be too hard on their baby brother. What's done is done and he's ready to bury the hatchet once and for all.

It's peculiar that Seth crumbles first and sags down to the ground, burying his face in his hands. Dean watches him with a stricken look on his face, all the fight leaving his body in the matter of a second and he kneels down to ruffle through his friend's hair. 'Sorry. I didn't mean to hold it against you.'

Their baby brother sighs loudly, arms hugging his legs close, making him look tiny and fragile. 'No, you're right.'

That admission doesn't perplex Roman at all. Seth still has the _always taking one for the team_ mentality, which Dean also realizes because he throws him a plaintive, yet somewhat relieved smile.

Even though Dean tells the naked truth Seth is the voice of reason right now, while Roman and Dean would already be at each others' throats, one wrong word away from getting into a full-blown fight if this were an argument only between them.

As calm as Roman might be, he never managed to be an anchor when it was really necessary. He couldn't have been their mediator. Someone had to accept that role while he and Dean fought over who was the alpha male and Seth never complained – until the summit – about their demeanor. That night opened their eyes; they finally understood that there didn't have to be only one leader.

Even if Dean is right, they still have to let Seth go so he can make his own thing. One day, he can surprise them with a Shield reunion. Or not. It's not important. What does count is that they grow back together as a family.

He observes Seth for a while, watches quietly how Dean sits down next to him to lay a protective arm around his shoulders. After a while he decides to call out to their friend, so he'll look at him when he says, 'It's okay. Isn't it, Dean?' There's a hopeful shimmer in Seth's eyes and Dean gives him a kiss on the tip of his nose before jumping to his feet again.

'It's not. I won't pull a Pinocchio,' his brother declares, throwing them both a defiant glance, before he gives in. ' _But_ we should roll with it for now. Until we have a better plan.'

Seth's face completely lights up at that and Roman hides his proud, pleased grin. Dean always comes around – sometimes he just needs a little while longer than everyone else. 'We?' Dean too hears the desire and amusement in Seth's voice, so he states energetically, 'Fuck yeah. No more solo stuff when we're together.'

Now that this is settled – even though they still have a lot of talking to do –, they can finally have some family quality time. The evening is still young and he wants to make the most of it. Who knows when they can be together like this again. 'Okay, lover boys. Movie night?'

Dean holds out a hand to help Seth get up again, gently shoving him on the bed. Seth shakes his head, demanding instead to have a good, old-fashioned cuddle session. He hears a light chuckle and Dean turns around, nodding at their little brother getting comfortable on the right side of the bed. 'What he said.'

Roman shrugs, not at all surprised by this and mutters with a huge smile on his face, 'Kids.'


	4. we all begin with good intents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _No one on this entire planet has so much faith in him than Dean._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I could post this chapter before Raw tonight =) And I wish everyone who celebrates it MERRY CHRISTMAS. Hope you all have happy holidays and a great time. Love you all <3

**Tables Ladders Chairs  
December 14, 2014**

Dean's music is playing when his friend stomps on the television screen like breaking it would ease the embarrassment and loss he just suffered. Roman watches backstage how Dean lets out his frustration about technology thwarting him in the most crucial moment ever in front of the whole world, cursing himself for wanting too much when he already had everything.

There's no doubt that Dean's accusing himself to be responsible for his failure more than he blames Bray for capitalizing on his idiocy.

When Dean barges through the curtain, Roman steps forward, pushing the referees and medics aside to check if Dean's eyes took any damage. 'You okay?' He doesn't expect a clear yes or no answer – no one is fine after a match like this – but Dean knows what he wants to hear.

His brother nods, muttering distractedly, 'I think I'm cursed. I'm just not supposed to win at Pay-Per-Views. Inside a cell, a TLC, Ro, those were my kind of matches and I can't win shit.'

He's sure his brother will get some revenge in the Boot Camp match. So far Dean has been the only one standing in his way during this particular feud. He firmly believes that there's a time and place for everything.

Roman pats his best friend on the head and gently pushes him towards the exit, so they can find a motel on their way to Detroit. 'Let's get you out of here, you should rest,' he says, looking at the medics to get their consent. He waits until they're out of sight to clap on his pants pocket to draw Dean's attention but he can already see at the sluggish pace his brother turns towards him that Dean's body might be here, but his mind is already out of order.

'Got some pain killers for you too.' He's familiar with his brother's unwillingness to take them, which is why Roman put some in his water bottle as a matter of prudence. 'Don't need them,' his friend replies gruffly, making him sigh inwardly. He holds the door open for Dean and helps him into the car, pushing the bottle into his hands.

'The hell you don't.'

He tries not to smile at Dean downing the drink on their ride to the motel or when his brother murmurs that it tastes a bit weird, looking at the bottle as if he could see anything in the darkness.

They don't talk – since Dean is more than just beat up –, which gives Roman some time to think about what happened this evening. They've talked thoroughly about him costing Seth the match, but his baby brother gave him the free choice when exactly he'd interfere.

All three of them had agreed pretty quickly that no one wants to see Brock versus Cena, but that it's none of their business since their own feud is the next-to-last thing standing between them as a family. He really hopes it won't rip open wounds that just healed, that Dean will be able to silently watch them tear each other apart, because Roman needs this and Seth is determined to give it to him.

So he stood backstage and watched his friend go through three and a half – since the announcement one didn't break – tables, saw how lost Seth looked when he was sitting on the ground, head resting against Michael Cole's chair, before Roman decided that his entrance would make the biggest impact.

It was a mere coincidence that Big Show made his way to the ring while Roman jogged around the arena to get to his usual spot. As tiresome as it sometimes might be due to overzealous fans, he missed walking down through the crowd almost as much as the action in the squared circle.

Once he was finally there and got rid of Show, he didn't hit Seth as hard as he could have, wanting to cut his brother some slack after all the abuse he went through already and knowing that the match would end with Cena putting him through yet another table, making it four and a half.

Almost the same amount of wood Dean smashed during the main event. He can imagine that his best friend did that to send Seth a message. Misery loves company or something along those lines. A pretty sweet gesture, isn't it?

Dean doesn't ask for a stop until they're almost in Detroit, grunting that he can't sit anymore and that his legs are killing him, so Roman pulls over at the next motel along the way. The times of the expensive, nice hotel rooms are officially over.

He aids his brother out of the car, even though he hears a lot of half-hearted objections and checks in, so they can get to where it's warm and dry. As soon as he's back outside, Dean holds out his from the cold shaking hands and grabs the key. Roman watches him fumbling around, bolstering himself up because he knows that once they're inside his brother will ask a simple and easily comprehensible question and he is reluctant to give an answer.

Dean hobbles into the dark room, groaning when he bumps into an obstacle. 'Where's Seth?' And we have a winner. He has dreaded this moment because now his best friend will learn that they can't keep Seth around after every show. 'Won't be able to make it.'

He turns on the light and they both blink to get used to the sudden brightness. When he looks into his brother's eyes, he wishes he would have left them in the dark. Metaphorically and literally. Dean glares daggers at him with bloodshot eyes and a slightly open mouth, his anger rolling off of him in waves that just bounce off Roman. He knows he's doing the responsible thing here and no amount of Dean's wrath will change that.

'Couldn't get rid of Santa's Little Helpers,' Roman tries to lighten the mood, to explain his decision to leave Seth in the care of Mercury and Noble when the silence gets too heavy and his friend's scowl leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn't want to feel guilty for making a decision neither Dean nor Seth could come to.

Dean flops down on the bed, obviously too exhausted to keep up the staring contest, shaking his head before he rubs over his hips with a pained hiss and mutters, 'I don't think he should be alone tonight.' Neither does he, to be honest. But this is their reality at the moment; as odd and disappointing as it might be.

He kicks his boots into a corner and takes off his winter jacket, turning the heating up so the room will be comfortably warm soon. 'He's not alone,' Roman reminds his best friend of Seth's mini bodyguards.

That realization seems to steal all of his brother's thunder and Roman gets the weird feeling that this night _will_ end with Dean holding Seth in his arms – no matter what. He can now decide if he'll gonna be there to see it or if they part ways here and now.

His brother hums kind of aggressively and heaves himself up again, making him panic for the fraction of a second. Dean promised to never leave him when Seth bailed on them and now it looks like he wants to hitchhike back to Ohio to meet their brother, since he hasn't answered any texts so far and Dean couldn't care less about his own well-being, always wanting to make sure his family is alright, or Roman's unspoken order to stay here. 'What're you doing?'

Dean grunts and holds his right side, dragging his feet on the way to the door, eyes still flaming red. Those electric sparks must've hurt his retina badly; just as the rest of the match damaged his body. No way he'll let him go when there's a bed right here.

'You need to rest.' This now is a direct command and Roman won't allow his brother to ignore it. Seth will be fine, they can check on him in the arena tomorrow. Dean though refuses to accept his decision, repeating stubbornly, 'He should not be alone tonight.'

He sighs, stepping into Dean's way to block the exit. 'You can't be with him. I am _not_ letting you go.' It's the hardest and most distressful thing he ever had to say, but the words tumble out of his mouth nonetheless.

Roman gets another defiant stare for that and notices a tiny bit concerned how Dean's fingers ball into fists. They have never fought over something so important and he has no intention of increasing his brother's agony, but if this is the way it's supposed to be, then he won't back down.

'Not tonight. It's not safe.' How many times does he have to beat that into their thick skulls? Just because they had a lot of serendipity in his absence it doesn't mean their lucky streak won't end. If this year taught them one thing, it's that even the most sacred of all streaks breaks one day.

Dean stands in front of him for a while, mouth pressed into a thin line, fury still pouring out of every pore, but eventually he turns away and walks into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him while shouting, 'It's wrong and you know it.'

He does and it pains him too to leave his brother behind but no matter what happened at TLC earlier, there's nothing he can do about it. He tried to see him after his match, however, Joey and Jamie refused to let their ward out of sight.

And honestly, Roman hopes that Seth is already sleeping soundly, giving his bruised body a chance to recover. If something were seriously off, he'd have found a way to contact them. Right?

Dean doesn't speak with him, doesn't even deign to look at him when he comes out of the bathroom half an hour later, freshly showered, ready to pass out. His best friend just lies down on the edge of the mattress and turns off the lights on his side.

It doesn't feel right that they're not even fighting over this until Roman begrudgingly gives in because he too doesn't want Seth to be alone after a night like this. Or ever. Dean giving him the silent treatment the moment they're finally back together on the road is the worst thing he's ever had to endure.

While he sits on the tub, brushing his teeth, he can't help but go over this whole issue again, trying to find the point his mind went wrong. Seth doesn't make such a huge fuss; he never hears a single word of complaint from him. Is he behaving like this because he doesn't want to disagree with Roman, thinking it's his duty to do everything he says?

Dean though won't get tired of showing him very clearly when he's made a mistake, sometimes being more blunt than is good for both of them. But okay, he gets it. They have gotten used to being together again – this time not as family but as a couple – and he ripped them apart, even if he has a good reason for it.

He can't separate those two; doesn't want to in the first place. If _he_ won't find a better solution, Dean will and then it'll really be only him against the world, oath or not.

Roman's not doing this to hurt his brothers or out of selfish reasons. His intention is only to protect them. From the world and their recklessness alike.

First, they need to get rid of J&J security, then Seth can join them again day and night. As long as there are witnesses that could reveal that Seth played Hunter and Stephanie, as long as he still tries to bring them back, they need to be more cautious. They can't rely on dumb luck all the time.

He looks into the mirror and for the first time in months he's disgusted with what he sees. Sometimes he fears he's doing this out of envy and not brotherly love. Roman wishes Dean would talk to him, so he could tell him that this is stupid. That there's no need to be jealous because they all share a special kind of bond with each other. That, even though Seth is his partner now, Dean doesn't play favorites.

Sleep eludes him – of course; it's the perfect ending to a shitty day that started out so good –, too worried that Dean might wake up and leave him in the dead of the night to be with Seth. It doesn't matter that his brother is breathing evenly, clearly out cold or that he won't get tired of swearing that he's not going anywhere. They're a family and belong together.

He's staring at the damn ceiling for hours already, his whole body tingling uncomfortably, the wish to wake Dean up and talk is almost unbearable, when their room gets illuminated by headlights. Roman doesn't think too much of it. This is a motel close to the Interstate, so other guests are bound to show up. It's not that weird that the car parks next to theirs either.

There's nothing to worry about until someone knocks at their door.

He doesn't move, not sure what to do. No one knows they're here. Perhaps some other wrestlers saw their car and recognized it, now wanting to ask if they can crash here to save some money. But on the other hand, only very few people are stupid or carefree enough to wake up Dean and him.

They might not be the most hated guys in the locker room anymore, but people still have a lot of respect for them and usually they like to steer clear of Dean, fearing that one wrong word or glance would get them into serious trouble.

Of course, there's also the other, very unlikely – and therefor, _highly_ likely – chance that he knows who's in the cold, begging to be let in.

His brother stirs but the hesitant sound is not yet enough to wake him up. The person outside knocks again, hurriedly and louder this time and Dean grunts, suddenly sitting upright without really understanding what's going on.

His fingers reach out on their own accord when there's a third knock, wanting to hold his brother back, but they grip only thin air because Dean's arm is nowhere to be found. His friend has rolled out of bed already, stumbling towards the door.

Dean opens it only clad in boxers and a wifebeater, the chilly wind outside making him shiver violently even in his half-asleep state. Roman can only see a dark shape pushing his brother inside before white light blinds them. He can hear a surprised yelp from Dean – must feel like a flashback to his match earlier – and the door being shut quietly. Someone walks a few steps into the room, the sound of shoes matching the one of bare feet. It bothers him that no one is speaking and that he has to wait until his eyes have adjusted to the brightness.

He's not yet able to make out every last detail, but there's no need to. He'd recognize Seth everywhere and to be honest, he already assumed it was their brother. Who else would track them down and deliberately wake up a sleeping dragon after a night like this?

Seth is cupping Dean's cheeks, checking his face for any damage from the exploding television screen before his fingers travel over the exposed skin to do a full body inspection. Dean has a few angry red scratches and marks all over him but other than that he looks completely fine. His bones though must hurt like hell. After his date with four and a half tables, Seth should know best.

They're still not talking; there is no need for it though, since the silence says more than a thousand words ever could. He scoots over to the left side of the bed – Dean's usual spot –, giving them a chance to be close tonight, acknowledging his brothers' desire to be with their partner at all times.

Dean only smiles sleepily throughout the entire examination and hugs Seth close wordlessly once it's done to rest his head on his friend's shoulder, the embrace slapping Roman in the face because it says very clearly _I knew you'd come_.

Maybe he doesn't have to worry so much. Maybe he should worry even more. He's not sure anymore.

What he does know is that Seth threw all caution in the wind and sneaked out of his hotel when everyone had dozed off to see for himself that Dean was okay. That's why he didn't text; written words can easily deceive. Until he couldn't be positive about Dean's condition, he wouldn't rest even for a single second.

Seth didn't care about the risk, he'd probably die or kill just to be here.

Roman can't and won't split them up, so the only logical thing is to protect them by all means necessary. It's his job to make sure they can see each other whenever they want to without blowing his little brother's cover.

He thought that deciding when and where they were allowed to meet would be the right way, but he can't defy something so strong as gravity. What belongs together should stay together.

It doesn't matter if he still wants his retribution or that their feud can't be stopped, he is not able to let his family down. This sure was no part of any plan he had, but he won't leave his brother to his own devices.

At least life never gets boring with these two.

It's calming to watch them hug each other, kind of soothing even. It feels like everything clicked in the right place again, as if the world righted itself after Dean closed the door on him earlier. Neither of them loosens the embrace, time ticking away mercilessly, and after a while Seth turns towards him, an apologetic smile on his lips and it's only now that he sees the bottom one got busted open.

'He fell asleep,' his friend whispers as quietly as he can, running his fingers through Dean's hair affectionately. He shakes his head and gets up, amazed that his best friend managed to doze off while standing upright, the events of tonight finally catching up on him.

Roman isn't dumb. It's dangerous to let Seth stay but looking at Dean beaming happily in his slumber, he knows that it's the only thing to do. What is one more lie about Seth's whereabouts for tonight on the pile of crap they've fed the world with already?

* * *

**RAW  
December 15, 2014**

It's probably really weird to admit that he spends most of his time in an arena on the toilet, but this is the only place Joey and Jamie leave him alone. Thank God, right? He wouldn't even be surprised if they'd offered their assistance by handing him toilet paper. His ever so helpful security.

Why did he think this was a good idea when the Authority was still around? Oh right, Hunter got a bit worried that Dean would rip him to shreds and Roman would burn down the remnant pieces of him. Seriously? As if anyone could do anything to prevent those two from getting what they want.

Seth stares at his reflection, for some reason only able to see himself trapped inside a cell while John Cena tries to humiliate him – good luck with that, dumbass – and the cruiserweight division assisting him from outside. If he would only rely on them, he'd be screwed.

On any other day, he'd beat Cena senseless, but he's hurting more than he did ever since his war with Dean and his body is killing him. That he's able to walk, even if he limps slightly, is a small miracle.

But since John thinks he can make him look like a fool, he will also learn that Seth is able to adapt to anything in next to no time. Paul opened the door for him last night and Seth decided to go through it after Jericho declared their rematch for tonight.

He really likes Chris – even if he can't show it –, so he does feel a bit bad for siccing Brock Lesnar on him, but it can't be helped anymore. This is the first decent plan he came up with ever since Survivor Series and the fact that Dean and Roman gave him their blessing this morning just makes him stronger.

Seth finally has a decent game plan again. He will try to bring back the Authority by making Cena's life a living hell, since he's the only one who has the power to do that. And once they're in charge of this lawless doghouse once more, he'll destroy them from within, stab them in the back, because that's what he has to do. What he wanted to do all this time.

That's the promise he gave his brothers and himself and he will not break it. He _needs_ that.

When the door opens Seth fears Joey wants to check in on him because he's been gone for quite some time now, but it's Dean barging into the room as if he owns this place, only the tiniest of limps slowing him down.

How does he do that? How does his brother get up every time he gets beaten down, without faltering only once? That fascinated him ever since he met Dean all these years ago in FCW. He even managed to make Roman and Seth believe they were cut from the same cloth, inspiring them to take every beating like a man without letting it crush their spirits.

Somewhere along the way, Seth has lost this mentality and he craves to get it back.

'What are you doing here?' he hisses concerned, locking the door so no one will be able to come in and see them. His bottom lip still stings and pulsates whenever he talks. He can't even remember how he hurt it, but he knows who's responsible for it and Cena will suffer for every little thing he did to him.

It worries him a bit that he descends only deeper into the darkness the longer he stays away from his family, making deals with one devil after the other.

Dean shrugs casually, checking himself in the mirror just like he did on the television screen last night, not bothering to answer his question.

'Bray's not here and Rome's God knows where,' he informs his friend while washing his hands again, just to do something, so Dean won't see how much it pains him to admit that he knows he's not his number one priority anymore. Roman practically threw him out of their motel this morning after he asked for their support with his new scheme, saying he has to go back before Mercury and Noble call the cops because they think he got kidnapped.

'Not here for them.' That's all he wanted to hear and all he needs to know. 'Rome would tell you how foolish this is.' His big brother made it pretty clear that they can't see each other as often as they're used to – especially in arenas.

Dean scoffs and snatches Seth's gloves from his belt, putting one on his right hand to hold his fingers up in the air, humming contemplatively as if the sight makes him remember the time he wore a pair of them, wondering if he should try this look again.

'I don't care,' his brother huffs out, helping Seth into the left glove. 'You looked like you could need some cheering up, so here I am.' How does Dean always know what he yearns for the most without even Seth realizing it? Actually, he doesn't care, as long as his friend continues to do it.

He slings his arms around Dean's waist and nuzzles his nose against his brother's collarbone, making sure not to touch the still very sensitive throat. There's so much on his mind and they have so little time, so Seth decides to go for the one thing that bothers him most these days.

He sighs loudly and murmurs crestfallen, 'I hate playing that arrogant, whiny, selfish guy. It's like he's becoming a part of me and I don't want that.' Dean rests his chin on Seth's head, gloved hand nudging him at the chin. 'Don't hate it. Get a real kick out of it. Have some fun, man.'

He scowls, unable to understand how Dean can encourage him to be an asshole. They both dislike the guy that Seth chose to be to fool the world and his brother is not the one who has to live with him inside his head. He isn't the one who looks in the mirror and constantly hates what he sees.

Dean chuckles, the low rumble he can feel under his cheek making him smile despite his grumpiness. 'It's not you, so play the crap out of it. Go over the top, piss everyone off. Just remember that it's not real – not for us – and enjoy yourself.' That sounds so easy for someone like Dean. Everyone can clearly see he's having the time of his life, that he was born to wrestle, every time his music hits and he steps into the ring.

Just like so many other things in his life, Seth has lost this aspect of his job completely out of sight. All his mind is concerned with at the moment is this whole mess he's in, not that he's allowed to love what he does.

'The fans are slowly starting to forgive you–' He barks out a sarcastic laugh, but Dean just silences him with a finger on his lips. 'Or, you know, accepting the new you. So bask in it, Seth. Every second of it.'

'Like you?' he asks, not sure why he sounds so hopeless all of a sudden. It's weird how Dean never fails to notice even the smallest things. He's very perceptive for a guy that everyone thinks is crazy and unstable.

His brother turns them around, so they can look at each other through the mirror. He's a bit surprised by the sincerity on Dean's face, but the mischievous spark in his eyes is exactly what he thought he'd find there. 'Yeah,' he watches his brother's mouth move, 'I may get hurt, I may lose, but at least I have no regrets.'

So he doesn't mind that he lost a match because of a simple tv, that he hasn't won a single Pay-Per-View since The Shield broke up, that they have to lie and hide their relationship, that Rome tries to do the right thing but that it's only hurting them?

'Every day could be your last,' he says softly, watching his reflection relax all of a sudden. It's not a question, because he thinks he understands now. Dean isn't worried about the future or even what'll happen in the next hour. He's a _live for the moment_ kinda guy, because life tends to screw him over and he wants to revel in the good things he's been granted.

If he gets hit by a bus tomorrow, Dean wouldn't even regret dying because he made the most of every second of his existence. Seth envies this attitude a lot, has never quite been able to see things like this. That's even more relaxed than Roman's _I'm a walking, talking source of serenity_ thing he's got going on.

And then there's Seth. The everlasting Duracell Bunny.

Dean smiles against his brown patch, tucking a few strands of it behind Seth's ear. 'That's the spirit,' his brother praises him for finally realizing that this in the only life he gets. He might step on some feet along the way, but as long as Seth himself is happy, he shouldn't concern himself so much.

'Now go and show Cena that he made a mistake when he wanted the rematch tonight. Make us proud.' That he can do, even though he's not sure how to even go out there and in the ring without collapsing. On the other hand, Dean's words do give him a boost of confidence.

As hard and awful as it is, he has to let go of his friend, wanting to exit the toilet when another thought hits him. He has to say this without Roman listening in on them. 'You know I'd risk getting caught just to be with you.' As logical and methodical he might be, he couldn't care less when it comes to Dean.

His brother smiles, taking off his glove to throw it back at him. 'I do. He'll understand,' Dean assures him while he catches it with his right hand. Seth is so immersed in putting it on that he doesn't see Dean walking up to him again to kiss him gingerly on the damaged lips.

He recognizes wistfully that it means goodbye since Roman's in charge now and he urged them to internalize that they can't fool J&J security like this forever. They need a better plan than Seth running away as soon as they're asleep, getting no rest himself because he's constantly using all his energy to sneak out, to plot and scheme so he can be with his boyfriend.

Rome's not trying to break them up, he knows that. It's just that he's been away for too long and now has to readjust to their new rhythm. He'd freak out if he were in his big brother's place too.

Seth closes the fastener on his gloves, finally feeling whole again, and breathes in as deeply as he can. He doesn't care about the cage match, since he will win it one way or another. Honestly, he only worries about one thing. 'And you two also remember that this whole Heyman-Lesnar alliance is–'

'Stop,' Dean interrupts him, voice somehow tender and annoyed. 'We heard you the first five hundred times. If you gotta do this for yourself, then do it. As long as you don't forget to have fun, I'm fine with you wiping their asses.'

He laughs and watches Dean wink at him before his brother unlocks the door and strolls into the hallway, whistling some tune Seth doesn't recognize at first, because he hasn't heard it in years. But there's no mistaking it, it's _Flesh It Out_ , one of his old FCW themes.

This is the second subtle message he received in the span of twenty-four hours and just like yesterday, he instantly understands it, heart fluttering happily around inside his ribcage. No one on this entire planet has so much faith in him than Dean.


	5. don't you know about karma?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since someone told me _Roman in LTWK is really really getting on my nerves_ I thought _Hey, how about more Roman?_ Nah, just kidding. I'm in a festive mood, so have some brotherly bonding and Dean and Seth being adorable buffoons.
> 
> Hope all of you had great holidays and Happy New Year. Thank you all for making my 2014 so much better and for your support! I appreciate each and every one of you! I hope your 2015 will be an amazing year. You all deserve happiness. Take care, lovelies!

**RAW  
December 22, 2014**

It's a bit disappointing that no one looks up when he opens the door, but on the bright side it's like back in the days when they still had been The Shield and he came back after working out or running an errand.

Dean's sitting on the edge of the bed, nursing his maltreated body by gently rubbing over the sore spots to ease the tension in his muscles. Roman's half-lying on the sofa, book on his chest, the closed off face telling him that his big brother is completely immersed in whatever he's reading.

That no one ushers him inside to draw the curtains back a bit and check the parking lot makes him feel like he's coming home. Something he hasn't experienced ever since Roman returned but that he missed dearly. He likes it better when there's no big fuss about him having this double life, especially now that Christmas is just around the corner.

Dean doesn't greet him until he has taken off his jacket and winter boots, throwing him a disarming smile before he clears his throat to jerk Rome out of his dream world. Seth waves at his big brother kind of hesitantly, not sure if he can drop the _walking on eggshells_ act around him.

But then Roman gets up and hugs him with one arm, the familiar scent of his shampoo causing him to relax immediately, sitting down on the bed too once he let go of him. Dean tentatively rolls his head and Seth winces when some bones crack loudly in his friend's neck. It reminds him of the night he passed out in the Undertaker's home and he really doesn't want to relive that moment.

Dean though exhales happily, the pain his never-ending source of energy. 'So, what did you tell your goons?' he asks, nodding towards the bed to indicate that Seth should take a seat. No need to stand there awkwardly in the middle of the room like a wrong 'un.

So he undresses himself until he's only wearing shorts and a thin shirt, intending to hop into the shower first. He waves his hands around in front of his body, muttering under his breath, 'That I wanted to release some stress after this whole Cena debacle, if you get what I mean.'

It was the most plausible explanation for spending the whole night away. Whatever works with Hunter, definitely convinces Joey and Jamie. And he hasn't used that excuse in months, so he thought he could revive it again.

A lopsided grin flashes over Dean's lips. 'And they didn't offer to provide you with protection while the magic happens? I'm sure they'd love to be a fly on the wall.' Ew, gross. Well, he has nothing against sex in public but he still would choose a different kind of audience.

Though he can definitely see it in front of his eyes, how they'd do anything to make intercourse as pleasant as possible for him. Seth shivers, the thought alone raising his hackles. Roman shudders, the same thing undoubtedly going through his mind, shaking his head when he adds, 'It's enough if _I_ have to watch.'

They both smirk at that, having vowed to shock Rome with one offer to a threesome after the other. It's just too much fun watching him shift uncomfortably in his seat every time they explicitly talk about their sex life. Roman's not uptight or anything. He just had to suffer through three years of sexual tension and mutual pining, walking in on them jerking off more often than not.

However, teasing his brother has proven to be a good ice breaker in the past and he feels like they could use one to lighten up the mood that surrounds them for weeks already. 'They did look a bit let down,' Seth states, feigning to be lost in thought.

Roman just rolls his eyes, the tiniest of smiles ghosting over his face. It dies the moment Dean chuckles and says, 'Maybe they just wanted you to think that, so they could have some fun themselves. They do make a lovely couple.' If that's not a mood killer, then he doesn't know.

'Thank you for that mental image,' he complains, pushing Dean lightly to not hurt him any further. His brother only pushes him back, making him trip over his own shoes in the process. 'My pleasure,' comes the happy roar while Seth scrambles to his feet again, watching Dean take his shirt off, a few fir needles falling to the ground.

'God, they're everywhere,' his friend complains, shimmying out of his jeans with a disgusted face. 'My whole body is sticky.' He doesn't even get the chance to stop it, hearing himself hum contently before blurting out, 'Now that's a lovely mental imagine.'

Dean cocks his eyebrows, gaze turning distant for a second or two and nods when he comes to the same conclusion. And his brother really can't complain, right? Only Dean gets the funniest matches lately.

First Hell in a Cell, then his Trick or Street Fight thanks to Kane, TLC and the Boot Camp one, to top that tonight with the Miracle on 34th Street Fight. Sure, Dean could use some time off to heal properly or a small break from Bray Wyatt, but hell will freeze over before these two will stop brawling.

'Mind if we shower together?' Huh? Why would he? Seth has been so preoccupied with watching his friend undress that he didn't even realize that Dean spoke to Roman.

'Inside these four walls you can do whatever you want,' their brother shrugs, opening his book again while Dean mumbles that he seriously needs a shower and Seth only parrots a bit dumbfounded, 'Whatever we want?' Sounds too good to be true. Where's the catch?

'Just don't wake me up,' is all Rome begs of them, making him stop dead in his tracks. His body had already followed Dean on its own accord but now he turns towards his brother and points at his chest. 'I can stay?' Like, the entire night? He doesn't have to leave the warm and comfy bed in a few hours to travel back to his hotel, freezing his butt off along the way?

Dean claps him on the shoulder, ribbing Roman once more. 'It's Christmas, he's in a giving mood.' 'I'm your brother and I love you,' Rome clarifies with a fake bored expression that changes into glee when he continues, 'And you don't want J&J to think you can only last a few hours, do you?'

Seth grabs his friend by the elbow, eyes going wide. 'Oh, he's got a point.' It's so good to hear all three of them crack up at that, even if he didn't mean for this to be a joke. But Dean's completely honest and amused laugh is infectious. It even seems to fully melt Roman's heart, because he's the one almost rolling in the aisles.

This feels more like what he's used to, as if the past six and a half months never happened. For the first time ever Seth truly believes his brothers really have forgiven him.

'Speaking of Christmas, I know you're dying to do it,' Roman announces eventually, Dean already stripped down to his underwear. Seth inches closer to him, searching for some body warmth, wondering about his big brother's strange sentence.

'I thought we don't celebrate together,' he replies, making himself sad though it was his decision to spend the holidays apart. Not just because his parents asked him to come home for Christmas. He mostly did that for his brothers.

Roman longs for some alone time with Dean and his boyfriend is in dire need of a loving, Samoan family that sees him as a part of them. He's already heard that everyone will be there. Jimmy and Naomi, Jey, Dwayne, Rikishi. The whole clan. It'll do Dean good to be surrounded by so many people that consider him their son and uce.

His only condition had been that they'd be together for New Year's Eve. Just the three of them celebrating in Vegas, in the safety of Dean's home and with the company of possibly half a dozen stray cats and dogs.

'We aren't,' Roman clears that up, shaking his head with a the ghost of a smile on his lips. 'That's not what I meant.' His brother pulls something green out of his pocket to throw it at Dean, who catches the thing easily, both of them looking curiously at his hands. It's a mistletoe. 'No need to hold anything back just cause I'm here.'

Dean looks at him over his shoulder, body practically humming with pride and affection. 'See?' his friend whispers. 'He understands.' Seth eyes the mistletoe before he shoots Roman a suspicious glance, buzzing back, 'He's _trying_.' Of course he can see that Rome realized he made a mistake, but he also knows that his big brother still thinks he had a certain right to do it.

Which is true, but it kinda backfired right into his handsome face. The bond Dean and Seth share by now is a force to be reckoned with and Roman learned the painful way to respect it. He burnt himself once, he won't do so twice.

' _He_ can hear you and is waiting for you to get a move on.'

This is the friend and big brother he thought he had lost. The one that supports everything they do, even if it's foolish. Rome still has a long way ahead of him, but at least he's going in the right direction. They all are.

Dean turns around to place the mistletoe on Seth's hair, his trademark smirk firmly in place. 'The big bad wolf wants us to make out.' He mimics the expression, tilting his head carefully to throw a sideglance at Roman. 'Then who are we to disobey?'

Their brother snorts and rolls his eyes, still clearly not entirely on board with keeping him around at least after every television show but willing to silently watch and protect, praying he isn't making a mistake by letting them establish the rules.

With the mistletoe resting on top of him, Seth assumes this moment is as good as any other and grabs Dean by his undershirt to pull him in for a kiss. It's longer and involves way more tongue than he intended to show Roman, but Dean's having none of that, biting on his bruised bottom lip to prevent him from drawing back.

His friend refuses to go easy on their brother, having enough confidence in the strength of their friendship that he can treat Roman like this, never getting tired of putting him in his place. Seth can't do that yet, too afraid that their bond is still too fragile to burden it like this.

Dean eventually breaks the kiss and Seth can't help a tiny whimper escaping his mouth. His friend winks at him jovially, laying an arm around his waist to hold him close, warning Roman teasingly, 'You might want to use your headphones now.'

Apparently their brother has come to terms with them probably having sex right on top of him because he just reopens his book while muttering, 'Try to keep it quiet. Don't want Dolph to think we're having a fling.'

Holy shnikeys. Roman allows him to be here even though one of their co-workers sleeps right on the other side of this wall? He probably got a visit from the three ghosts of Christmas last night that made him reconsider his decisions.

Still pretty incredible Roman's not taking watch at the window, armed with a spyglass and buzzing with anxiety. 'Dolph is staying next door?' It's too absurd to believe, to be honest. Roman would never take such a risk, would call it a reckless and redundant one and they all know he likes to steer clear of those.

'Yup,' his brother replies casually, turning another page to keep up his game face. Seth knows him better than that. Even Dean raises an eyebrow at their friend's detached behavior. 'And you're cool with me being here?' he asks, just to be on the safe side. The question makes Dean bark out a sharp laugh.

'Cool?' his brother repeats, bending down to take off his socks. 'He's a nervous wrack, but he trusts us. Don't you?' He doesn't see Rome's reaction as such, lost in the fantasy of Ziggler listening in on them, too busy with pouting and muttering to himself, 'But I love it when Dean's all vocal.'

He gets a playful jab in the ribs before Roman's voice booms through the room. 'Bet he sounds like your regular Dale Cooper, but please, behave yourself.' Whoa. How the heck does Roman know someone like Cooper?

More importantly, there's only one way he would ever get wind of a gay porn actor and that's through Dean. Hey. Why's his friend watching the good stuff without him? No, scratch that, he knows why. It's to embarrass Roman, to lure him out of his shell, maybe even prepare him for what's about to come once Seth will be back full time.

That's unfortunate though. He had wanted to give Rome not a snowball's chance in hell to prep himself for anything. Where's the fun in giving him a heads up? And where the tiny payback for behaving like an idiot recently?

'Yessir,' Dean salutes, clapping Seth on the chest to yank him out of his thoughts. Man, if his boyfriend is able to forgive Roman, he can't stay mad either. Not that he even wants to, since that drains him of so much energy and he has no intention of wasting it for useless stuff like that.

The issue with Dolph on the other hand is something he has to talk about. 'Do I have to sneak out before dawn?' Because their Intercontinental Champion really loves to fight him, especially since he had this huge boost of confidence thanks to his victory at Survivor Series.

This is a completely new Dolph Ziggler and he isn't as easy to keep down as he used to be. Probably also because Seth has lost his mojo, only starting to get some of it back when Dean reminded him of his passion for wrestling.

Still doesn't change the fact that Dolph wouldn't understand Seth being here. The man is one of those people Seth loves to go one on one in the ring with – because he admires his work ethic and their matches always are amazing and mind-blowing –, but he wouldn't trust him with his life.

Four people, other than the ones present in this room, in the know are enough. Not even Jimmy or Jey have a single clue about the truth and if Roman is willing to lie to his own flesh and blood, then Seth won't ruin it by letting yet another person in on his little secret.

'Course not,' his big brother murmurs distractedly, putting his finger on the last line he read to look up at him with a frown, as if Seth has lost his mind. 'We'll wait until they're all gone.' Sure, makes sens– what?

' _They_?'

Dean snickers, throwing his dirty socks on the pile of worn clothes on the ground; taking his time now because he realized that Seth wants to talk this one out instead of having some fun in the bathtub. The shower won't run away, but understanding how Roman ticks these days is a rare opportunity. Like seeing a unicorn.

'Almost everyone's staying here. We arrived at the same time as the Bellas, JJ, as well as Paige and Emma.' JJ is Dean's short form for the Usos, which is why Seth called Jamie and Joey J&J. But that's not really important, since almost the whole roster seems to sleep here tonight.

While that doesn't bother him at all – having mastered the art of being sneaky ages ago –, he's more than just surprised Rome's able to sit quietly in bed without being plagued by one panic attack after the other. He walks over to his brother and pokes him in the cheek, bending down until their noses almost touch. 'How are you still alive? One would think the stress and paranoia would've already caused you to have a stroke.'

Behind his back Dean laughs again, holding his belly as if this is the best joke he's ever heard – though he rather suspects it's because of his match earlier. It'd be funnier if Roman would be a tiny bit pale around the nose. But he looks as composed and relaxed as ever, using all of his willpower to keep this up.

'Dean, this is a bad idea,' his boyfriend imitates their big brother, arms akimbo, a scowl on his face. 'But I want you to know that I believe in you.' Seth nods enthusiastically and jumps up and down a few times to show Dean he wants to impersonate Roman too.

'So, don't make me regret this,' he finishes the mockery, voice as deep as he can manage, doing his best duck lips impression. Roman just stares at them for a while, brown eyes showing only the slightest hints of exhaustion. Overall, there's just a lot of fondness warming his heart, making it dance off beat for a few moments.

'You're gigantic bubbleheads.'

And very proud ones too. Dean hums approvingly and leans against the doorframe, his toothy grin lighting up the room. Somehow he still manages to sound completely serious when he says, 'Thanks for being our guardian angel.'

Rome doesn't miss a beat, retorting without looking at them, 'Someone has to be the adult one.' True. Dean and Seth did block out everything around them, ignored the danger of being caught in the act. They lived life on the edge, rode on a lightning bolt, as Dean would say it.

All that mattered to them was the other; they totally got lost in their own little world because Roman was no longer there to anchor them to the shore. It was awesome, a true adrenaline rush.

Roman loves to have fun too, it's in his blood, but ever since they became close friends and a unit as The Shield, he's decided to be the big brother, the one in charge of their safety. Their silently brooding, calm, always kind of fondly exasperated tower of strength.

As tiresome as it sometimes might be, neither Seth nor Dean would have it any other way.

'And we're eternally grateful, man. If you ever wanna join–' 'God, no,' Roman cuts him short kind of hurriedly, making him snicker on the quiet.

'Offer stands,' Seth reminds him, walking into the bathroom to give his family a little privacy – knowing full well that Dean isn't done with their brother yet –, but decides to watch them through the small crack between door and wall anyway.

In the bedroom, Dean bends forward, not quite whispering in Roman's ear when he speaks on, and this time his face matches the earnest tone of his voice. 'Thank you.' He must know that Seth is too nosy to miss out on this, so he doesn't even try to hide anything from him.

Roman throws a quick glance at the door and Seth presses himself against the cold wall, heart jumping around wildly, hoping he didn't see him eavesdropping.

He counts the seconds, trying to calm down again, until his brother replies, 'What good would it do to force you to make a decision when all I have to do is let go?' Not of Dean, obviously, but of his fear to lose his best friend. That only smothered the fire of their relationship.

Dean has the patience of an angel. If he didn't bolt until now, he'll definitely _never_ leave Roman behind. Just like he didn't give up on Seth, even with all the shit he pulled. They're very lucky to call him their friend and brother, even if Dean himself thinks otherwise.

'Don't ever change,' his boyfriend sighs, the sudden silence telling him there's some manly hugging going on.

'I didn't go on your nerves with acting like a mother hen?' Roman's voice bounces off the walls after a while. Dean huffs and Seth can hear a light tapping sound, as if he's clapping Rome on the leg. 'I was beyond pissed, yeah. But no one ever cared enough about me to _be_ a mother hen, to try and protect me from making bad decisions. I really appreciate your concern.'

Sometimes Seth wishes the world could see this Dean Ambrose, but at the same time he wouldn't want to share him with anyone – other than Roman, of course. It's totally selfish, yet he can't be bothered to care. This Dean belongs only to them. It was hard enough to get through to him and find this part of his friend under all the crap and unpredictable tigerishness he surrounds himself with as a shield from the world.

'Even though I made the wrong choices?' Rome asks, not a single trace of insecurity in his words. He doesn't regret making these decisions, that much is clear. He simply understood they were not the ones that were best for all three of them.

He can imagine Dean shrugging nonchalantly while saying, 'Just proves you're human. And we forgive you, right Seth?' He flinches behind the door, stepping into their sight nonetheless, because he too wants to say this in his brother's face. 'Water down the bridge, man.'

In the beginning he didn't dare to be mad at Roman, too anxious to infuriate his friend so much that he'd cut all their ties once and for all. Now though he simply isn't angry anymore, even though he's allowed to be. They all have their reasons for acting the way they do.

And if they don't even manage to not judge their own brothers' actions, how will they be able to survive as a family then?

Roman shakes his head, sighing tiredly. 'You're way too carefree.' Maybe. Definitely. It's like Dean said though. They only have this one life and they won't get back the time they've already lost. As long as they have no regrets, Seth can live with them fighting and reconciling again and again.

That's what family's for, isn't it? You hate them, you love them, you sometimes want to murder them but you can never live without them. You're not whole if they aren't at your side.

Dean cups Roman's cheeks and squishes them for a while, looking for a dreadful second as if he's about to give him a peck on the lips. In the end, he plants a soft kiss on their brother's hairline, breaking the news as gently as he can. 'Shit'll hit the fan soon enough, Ro. That's a given. So please, enjoy the little things with us while they last.'

They really wouldn't want to go on without him.


	6. i'm breaking from everyting beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Wrestling Dean is pure fun because of the unpredictability, a challenge to mind and body alike. Competing against Roman is a power struggle. It's agility and speed against brute force._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Hope your 2015 will be awesome. You all deserve it <3 And a big thanks to everyone who still keeps commenting on this fic so faithfully. You have no idea how much that means to me!

**RAW  
December 29th, 2014**

Seth's knuckles hurt like hell when Dean finally demeans himself to open the goddamn door. He doesn't have much time at his disposal, Hunter and the rest are already waiting for him, but he wanted to see his family one last time. After New Year's Eve, he won't be able to stick around anymore as much as he'd like to.

He's not here to talk about them though. After tonight, Seth isn't sure anymore if he likes the guy staring at him through the mirror, so his feet led him to the only place he feels safe, to his family's doorstep in the hopes Dean tells him it's okay.

That he did good and everything will be fine. That they're proud of him and he didn't make a mistake by intending to end someone's life. Jeff already wrote him a text, saying he would drive over and snap Seth's neck himself if he didn't know that he's just playing a role.

He and Edge aren't as close as they used to be anymore – they never were able to leave this whole Lita thing behind for good – but he still has a lot of respect for the man, as does Matt, and neither one of them wants to see Adam being harmed.

Even his ally, who spends the last days of 2014 with his half-brother, wrote him an irritated message that could have been a joke or not. But seeing that not even Kane recognized him tonight just increased Seth's fear of having committed a terrible error.

He rushes past Dean, only distantly realizing the sound of a shower running, throwing his Money in the Bank briefcase vigorously on the floor to hide his desperation. He really should start to come up with schemes that don't change every night.

Dean is a roll with the flow guy, Seth on the other hand needs organized, full-fledged plans. He's no good with chaos.

'When I said go over the top, piss everyone off, have fun with it,' his brother starts, while watching Seth prowl through the tiny room with raised eyebrows as if he wants to scold him for behaving like– well, a bit like Dean himself back in the indie days.

'You didn't mean this,' he finishes the sentence, too upset to be able to hear those words leave his friend's mouth. Seth can't even look at him anymore; he's so ashamed and confused, and he frantically wants to cover his ears before Dean mentions something he'll never be able to forget again.

Taking a man hostage, threatening to kill him on live television is a new low, even for him. Trying to do it, even after Cena gave him what he asked for will haunt him forever – because it felt so _good_.

Seth has no idea what he would have done if John hadn't speared him the moment he almost Curb Stomped Edge.

Dean scoffs and gives him a clap on the butt before he yawns heartily and crawls back into bed. 'Hell no, I meant exactly that. I never thought you'd go full on serial killer mode, but hey, whatever floats your boat.' This is a dream, right?

His brother did not just tell him he did a good job by turning into The Joker. Oh, stupid. If anyone would support something like that, it's _Dean_. That's what he came here for.

And it works already. Dean is not taking his advice back, won't chide him for wanting to off a loving father, refuses to put any blame on either Seth or himself.

Watching his friend cover himself with the blanket, he can't help but sigh relieved, thinking about the days of Jon Moxley and how far Dean has come since then – only to now look at his own boyfriend and see himself staring back at him.

'You're not scared?' It's a bit insulting that Dean laughs for a whole minute, making him bite his fingernail nervously. This is not the first time he wishes his friend would stop giving a shit and join him on the dark side, but he's never been this close to beg Dean to leave Roman for him. He'd love nothing more than to rule the world with his brother.

Just so he doesn't have to feel like the worst and loneliest person on earth. So that every night, before he closes his eyes, he can see Dean smiling at him, assuring him that he doesn't regret a thing.

'Of you?' his brother chuckles, shaking his head as if it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. 'You wouldn't hurt a fly.' Didn't Dean watch RAW until the end? Didn't he hear Seth scream over and over and over that he would snap Edge's neck, paralyze him, _kill_ him just to back up his words by running into the ropes to prepare himself for his Finishing Move?

Even Seth was afraid of himself, once his brain kicked in again. How can Dean be so sure that this is not the real him? That one day, play won't turn into reality and Seth won't end up being a homicidal maniac? He wouldn't be the first one to snap.

'You don't know what I'd have done if John hadn't put them back in power.' It's like he wants his brother to admit he's as unpredictable as Dean, as powerful as Roman, while still being as smart as he just happens to be.

Dean shakes his head again, this time without a smile on his lips. He sensed that Seth is having a nervous breakdown right now, that he requires consolation or just Dean being close to him, so his mind can cling to its sole anchor to sanity. 'You would never hurt anyone like this.'

_Like this_. Not like he hurt his family on June 2 nd and all these weeks following that night. So basically, Dean denies that he could ever straight up murder someone, but he's still capable of tearing someone's heart apart, ending not a life but a bond that once had been unbreakable.

'But damn, you're a very impressive heel. I'm proud of you.' He whips his head around, gaze locking with Dean's automatically and there's not a single trace of mockery in his face. His brother really means it. He is satisfied by Seth's actions – _all of them_. From the bottom of his heart, he stands by Seth's side, respects every decision he makes because his faith is so deep that he doesn't question anything even once.

It's like Dean granted him absolution and Seth is finally able to calm down. His heart stops beating like it wants to break through his ribcage to escape the evil within and his whole body relaxes, warmth spreading through his limbs. It should worry him that he's obviously not able to live without Dean anymore, but right now he couldn't care less.

If Seth will accidentally take this too far, if he crashes and burns, his friend will be there to pick him up and carry him to safety; will sow him back together and nurse him. Yeah, _Dean Ambrose_.

He kicks his briefcase in the direction of the door, so he won't forget it when he leaves in a few minutes. Seth can't allow himself to even make the tiniest of mistakes now with the Authority back in business. No more slip ups, no more losing his focus – no more fun either.

Seth wanted to make John's life a living hell and even if the method he used was rather underhand, he did exactly that. And the fear to lose his mind only set in when he was running towards Edge to do a Curb Stomp, gripping him tight until he could finally lose himself in the safety of Dean's blue eyes.

'It was fun seeing Cena sweat,' he confesses in a hushed tone, not quite sure if he wants to be glad about this. But hey, on the other side, Dean dove into madness during his days as Moxley and look who he is now. Sure, he's not as mentally stable as he would love to be, but honestly, who is?

With a past like that, Seth is surprised his brother was able to let him and Roman into his heart anyway. Seth even twice.

If Dean turned pitch-black darkness into bright, lovingly light, then he should be able to do that too. Or he just hopes his friend will save him. He should know best when _having fun_ turns into _I want to watch the whole world burn_.

'See,' Dean compliments him, not in the slightest wary of this new, seriously aggressive side of him. 'It's obvious you're finally enjoying yourself again. Heel or face, you're killing it.' He winces at the choice of words, but has to admit that he did have a lot of fun with playing the crowd, becoming an even bigger asshole with every word he uttered into the microphone. The end justify the means, doesn't it?

What makes him really happy though is that he could take on his own big brother in the ring and still love what he did. It reminded him a bit of his battle with Dean, as soon as they were able to let go of the hovering shadow of the treason he committed.

Of course, it's completely different fighting Dean and Roman, the sentiment behind each respective feud a very unique one. His big friend is like an immobile force, striking the moment he least expects it while Dean just barges in, guns blazing, without a plan or any care for either him or the opponent.

Wrestling Dean is pure fun because of the unpredictability, a challenge to mind and body alike. Competing against Roman is a power struggle. It's agility and speed against brute force. Or, it would be, if Seth wouldn't have Joey, Jamie and the Big Show in his corner.

But he never fought completely alone – even Dean had the whole Authority against him during their feud. It's only fair that Roman has no advantage either.

'Speaking of,' he changes the topic, coercing himself to not think about this mess any longer, 'how's Rome?' Dean looks up, a spark lighting up his eyes that Seth can't quite place anywhere. It's not mischief but it isn't happiness either. 'Drowning himself in the shower,' his brother deadpans and points towards the adjacent bathroom.

'What?' he blurts out, an invisible might pulling his body to the white door, overpowering the one that wanted him to lie into bed next to Dean. Before his hand reaches the metallic handle, he hears a laugh and his brain extinguishes the raging fire that had been burning in his head.

'Oh, ha ha. Hilarious.' At least now he knows that Roman's okay, despite being buried beneath the announcement table by the Big Show. At times like this, he misses Kane at his side, because with him Seth knows that his family is never in any real danger.

'Still better than your cow joke,' Dean reminds him of their newest game – who can tell the best worst joke and his first try had been _Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the moo-vies_ which had been as equally lame as Rome's _What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt_ – face going slightly critical when he queries, 'You're not gonna tell Show about us, are you?'

'God no.' He's not crazy. Kane wasn't exactly a mistake, but he's only in the know because Seth needed him and the man mostly found everything out on his own. He won't make the same mistake of showing his feelings for his family in public twice. And he sincerely hopes that Roman won't yell into his face that he loves him in the middle of the ring like his boyfriend did.

Dean hums and tilts his head, biting on his bottom lip without realizing what that does to Seth. He's never wanted to screw the Authority so badly than in this very moment. Who cares about Hunter and Vince wanting to talk or congratulate him when he can have _this_ instead?

'One giant for me, one for Ro. You know you could win against us all on your own, right?' 'I already did that,' he retorts, sticking his tongue out to remind Dean of how he successfully defended his FCW title against him more than once without someone backing him up.

Seth knows he's good – he's also aware that Dean has improved a lot since then and is now even harder to beat –, has enough confidence in himself. It's like he's said once: it ain't arrogance if you can back it up. And boy, can he do that.

With the Authority around, he just doesn't get a lot of chances to fight his own battles and he's more than sick of that, but his day will come again. And then everyone will see that he indeed is the future of the WWE. Just that he knows it's not only him.

People like Dean, Roman, Dolph, Daniel and a lot of the NXT guys – Sami, Kevin, Finn are just some of them – have the potential to change the face of the business forever. Seth is proud to be a part of that and he'll make the most of his first title reign as soon as he's cashed in.

Dean snickers suddenly, still watching him with a curious expression on his face, as if his brain knows why Seth won't join him in bed but his heart refuses to believe that he's only here to check in on them. 'So, you made it. After just one month they're back.'

When Vince told Hunter and Steph to somehow fix this, they said the same thing to Seth – because in their eyes he was the one responsible for them suffering defeat – with the little addition that he should do it by any means necessary. Well, he did, only so he can stab them in the back one day himself. They won't see it coming, won't even know what's happening to them.

He does kind of hate that he ruined Dolph's biggest win in his career but hey, this war requires sacrifices and Seth is unwilling to make them all himself. Ziggler is a grown up man, he'll come around and get over it. That was his revenge for costing him the match at Survivor Series – which he would have won if Sting hadn't stuck his nose in Seth's business.

He lost a whole damn month because of those two.

Seth shrugs casually, muttering, 'One concern less.' He really staggered around aimlessly once the Authority was gone because he couldn't see a way to further redeem himself. Helping them gain their power back was risky, but it was better than going on like this – not knowing where he should turn next.

'Right,' his brother grins, body jerking forward a tiny bit; as if it's begging him to stand up and hold his hand, so he can drag Seth into bed with him. In the end, he remains where he is while Seth takes a step back to not fall for the temptation himself. 'Edge will probably file a lawsuit because of, you know, _attempted murder_ and all that. Randy's somewhat back too. And he's pissed. Plus, you still got Ro on your heels. He's nowhere near done with you.'

Seth expected nothing less. And here he was, thinking he already pissed off everyone as a Hound of Justice. 'Yeah, yeah,' he grumbles, 'I got more enemies than brain cells.' This time, Dean does get up, only to ruffle through his brown patch, ruining the perfect bun he tied his hair into after the show.

'Alright, Voldemort, let's get you in bed.'

His brother is already on his way back, which means he thankfully can't see Seth averting his gaze while slowly retreating. And Voldemort, seriously? Dean has a vast variety of villains to choose from – like Deathstroke, Crowley, Moriarty; all better looking than Lord Flatface – and he decides to go with that? A man who never even had a tiny bit of a heart or empathy for anyone?

'First of all, Thorin fits way more. Falling under the spell of power and gold but coming to his senses in the end,' he tuts at his friend, suddenly liking his pick the most. Handsome and overall a pretty good guy.

Dean huffs and draws the covers back, so Seth can finally hop into bed – even though he can see it in those crystal clear blue eyes that he already suspects Seth won't be joining him. 'Nah, Oakenshield had way more hair than you. Now come on Freezer, you're letting the cold in.'

He listens to the water running in the other room for a while, trying to find the right words. But there are none. All of them sound like a sorry excuse in his ears. No matter what he says, he will disappoint them both because they had finally found their own rhythm and now they need to fight and claw again just to be with the other.

'I can't stay,' he whispers, eyes roaming around the room, never once grazing Dean. 'Now that Hunter and Steph are back, they want me to be close to them. There's a lot we need to do. Catching up, celebrate, planning, you know.' He's fairly certain that they'll start hosting their monthly dinners again too – this time with J&J security, as well as Big Show.

All Seth can do is hope that Kane chooses to stay at his side, so he'll have at least one ally. It's pathetic how much he depends on other people, how much he yearns for them but he can't be bothered to care. Everyone is in need of friends and family.

Just because he's able to make it on his own, doesn't mean he wants to live a life as a lone wolf. He values his happiness and being only by himself never truly was fulfilling.

Dean stays quiet for a long time before Seth can hear the covers rustling again; seems like his brother pulled them over himself once more, this time knowing for sure that his earlier assumption had been right. Seth is leaving soon, and now it's not because someone begged him to keep his distance.

'I wanna stay,' he adds, his legs stumbling forward, eager to close the gap between them and he has to grab hold of a chair to not take a single step more.

Dean waves his concern off, but he can hear it in the clipped answer that he wished Hunter being back wouldn't mean the same as Roman's return. One day, he will be able to give Dean what he wants – a partner that is there for him day and night. He doesn't require someone who he can show to the world, doesn't want to brag.

All he needs is a friend. Someone who accepts him the way he is, a person that hands him a chair to beat someone up instead of hitting him with the thing ten times in a row. Someone who couldn't care less about who knows about them and who doesn't. A partner who would move heaven and hell just to see him smile.

Right now, Seth is only able to be some of that. But he's working on the rest every day.

'I get it, Seth. Just go.' Dean's not mad at him, he can feel that, yet there is something in the air that bothers him. Since he can't put his finger on it, Seth turns to leave, but his arm freezes in mid air when he's about to pick up his briefcase. He doesn't look back at his brother when he murmurs hesitantly, 'Could you ask me to not lose myself?'

As entertaining as the new Seth Rollins might be, he's still afraid he and that man he doesn't know but that lives inside of him will become one in the future. And he's not sure Dean will still love him then or will be patient enough to guide him back to sanity, after winning the battle with his own mind only thanks to him and Roman.

Dean's out of bed before Seth can even blink, proving once more that he already is everything Seth wants him to be, hugging him from behind. He feels his friend's nose playing around with the bun and a fuzzy warmth loosens the knot inside his stomach.

'You don't need it cause you _won't_ and you did nothin' wrong. Giving in to the darker side of you won't let the rest of you disappear. You're stronger than that. But since you wanna hear it and I'm without a shadow of a doubt the best partner out there: don't lose yourself. Remember, it's only as dark as you make it. Harness the light that's still inside of you.' Dean's hot breath tickles his earlobe and he has to close his eyes to not come undone right in his brother's arms.

His number one priority might be to betray Hunter but he also has to find some excuses to spend time with Dean that won't raise any suspicion over time, because he can't deny himself his boyfriend's closeness the moment he just got it back by convincing Roman to blindly trust him on this one.

'It's safe as long as you're alive.' Sounds overly dramatic, but he doesn't give a crap. Dean _is_ the light and also the love of his life. As long as he is by his side, Seth isn't too afraid of the darkness he surrounds himself with. His friend is his safety net, his lifeline, the voice of reason which is all kinds of fucked up, since this is Dean Ambrose he's talking about.

'Go,' comes the determined order and two arms around his biceps gently guide him towards the door, making his heartbeat pick up in fear. He is nowhere near ready to go back into the lion's den and leave his family behind. He still has to apologize for siccing Big Show on his brother, for not fighting him like a man, for committing the same sins he did during his feud with Dean. 'Tell Rome I'm sorry.'

His friend doesn't answer at first, but the hug gets tighter and chapped lips brush over his exposed neck. 'You worry too much,' Dean buzzes against his skin, the sound of his voice barely louder than the shower. 'Stop it. You'll be fine, because you are the best, most convincing, smartest evil genius out there and we won't go anywhere, no matter what you do to us. I'll make sure he stays.'

Seth knows that Roman won't abandon him, his urge to protect and keep his baby brothers safe too strong. No, it's Dean he's concerned about. He's still scared that one day, his friend will stop believing in him and walk away once he has enough of this life full of lies and hiding.

He places his hands over Dean's, trying to will his brother with the sheer force of his mind to hold him close until the end of days. 'And who keeps an eye on you?' he asks, eyes fixed on all the countless cracks in the wood before him, a tiny wave of nausea crashing over him, making his stomach hurt.

A light chuckle lets his body vibrate, before Dean simply says, 'No one.' Of course. He's free like the wind, he can't be chained or held back by anyone. If Dean has set his mind on doing something, he'll do it or die trying. 'But that shouldn't terrify you. Now go and don't kill anyone on the way.'

'Dude, not funny,' he moans, his breathing regulating itself again. Somehow Dean is always able to make him feel better, saying exactly the things he needs to hear. His brother laughs quietly and gives him a kiss on his neck before he lets go of him, snickering, 'It is to me.'

'And now we can dig up our old mommy and daddy jokes,' Roman shouts from the bathroom, making Seth flinch because it means he has listened in on them for quite some time, knowing all of his doubts too.

'I hate you,' Seth sighs, turning around to see his brothers look at him with huge smiles on their faces – Rome opened the door, releasing a lot of steam that wafts its way to Dean's feet, making him look like he made a deadly deal with the Undertaker in hell.

'Listen to this,' his boyfriend suddenly blurts out, looking back at Roman to get his attention too. 'What did the letter O say to Q?' In the bathroom he can see his brother turn back to the mirror to brush his hair while Seth just rolls his eyes.

'I'm pretty sure I'll still hate you once I know the answer.' Dean wiggles with his index finger in front of his face, telling him to shut up before he ruins the punch line. 'Hey, your dick's hanging out.'

'Yep,' Seth manages to say, but no matter how hard he tries, he can't stop grinning; especially not once Roman starts snorting in the bathroom. His chest swells with affection because Dean – a real prankster and wisecracker – told another lame joke, so this round wouldn't go to anyone and the game continues.

'See you on Wednesday, killer,' his brother bids him farewell, the big smirk infectious. ' _Dean_ ,' he groans, flicking him on the forehead because he really doesn't want this to become his new nickname, before he stands on his toes to kiss his brother on the now red spot.

* * *

**Smackdown  
January 2nd, 2015**

Seth has no business here today, but he still sneaked into the arena, testing his ninja skills – just to make sure they're as good as they used to be –, moving around in the shadows unseen. Hands down, it's the most fun he's had in ages. Like he's playing hide and seek with the whole locker room and of course he excels in it.

The moment his friend finishes his promo he rushes to the toilet nearest to the backstage curtain, so he can show his gratitude for what his brother just did out there.

This wasn't simply another warning, it was also Dean showing his support for the supposedly new Seth. It's another one of those oddly soulful gestures that Dean randomly throws his way and that make him feel like the worst boyfriend ever because he can't do such things out there.

Dean lets out a tiny surprised squeal, a fist already on its way to Seth's face since he thinks someone is attacking him, but he stops dead in his tracks once he realizes who yanked him into the bathroom.

'We just saw each other yesterday and by saw I mean we made Ro almost flee the country. What couldn't wait, hot stuff?' Dean asks, not even bothering to check if anyone else is in here with them, relying solely in Seth's competence or dumb luck. Probably the latter.

Time's running out – he rarely has any for his family these days – so he comes straight to the point. 'You threatened to incapacitate Bray. And to do a lot of illegal stuff to his body. Thing is, you'll most likely end up doing all of that.' Dean only grins and splashes some water on his face. 'Sick, huh?' He's never met anyone who is so happy and relaxed just moments after he promised to kill and maim someone.

Seriously, as a heel tag team, they'd strike terror in everyone's heart and no one would be able to stop them.

'Now we're murder buddies.' So far they haven't done anyone in, but he sincerely appreciates the sentiment. His brother is willing to immerse into Seth's darkness, so he'll never lose sight of the saving light.

'Told you I wouldn't leave you alone.' Who would have ever thought that out of the two of them, Dean would be the more romantic one?


	7. my despair plagues me no longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but I wanted this chapter posted before RAW tonight, so I kinda edited it in a rush. If you guys see anything that's horribly wrong, please tell me, okay? Also, apologies to that anon that kept hoping I would write more about SD. I loved the match and all but I rarely write about Smackdown anymore. Added a little something for you though =)

**RAW  
January 5th, 2015**

It's like a cliché deja-vu that he's standing here, knocking for all he's worth at his brothers' motel room. It really helps though that they always park their car in front of it, or else he would have to put on his poor disguise – beanie and a huge scarf, because sunglasses in winter are ridiculous – to rule out all the other rooms.

And God knows who else stays here tonight. He has no intention of running into Dolph Ziggler after what happened. Sure, he had been teed off about the whole Survivor Series thing but he never wanted the man to lose his beloved and well-deserved IC title _and_ get fired in the same night.

It'll be less interesting without Ziggler backstage, calling him a sellout and more unpopular than his brothers right in his face, even with his security by his side. The only ones who he wouldn't actually mind meeting are Jimmy and Jey, because they're family. Not his, but Dean and Roman's and his friend shouldn't be forced to lie to and hide from his own flesh and blood.

'Well, well, if it isn't our golden boy,' Rome greets him as soon as he opened the door with the once silver seven on it, letting Seth in. He can see that his brother tries very hard not to check the parking lot or any of the other lit windows for anyone observing them and it warms his heart that Roman persuaded himself to rely solely on Seth's judgment.

'You alright?' he asks, stopping in the middle of the room to look back at his brother. Big Show didn't exactly go easy on him earlier, but his friend looks perfectly fine. Probably because he's freshly showered and apparently busy reading a huge tome while lying comfortably in bed.

A normal post-show night then. All that's missing is Dean hogging the television for himself to watch his antique wrestling matches or a stupid late night show and Seth sitting behind Roman to braid his hair.

His brother shrugs, a hand automatically running over his belly, guarding the scar from his hernia surgery. 'More or less.' Well, to be fair, he's not really here to have a heart-to-heart with Roman – even though he would take care of him if he'd be injured, he's not a monster –, so he doesn't beat around the bush any longer.

'Good, where's Dean?' And with that he resumes his search in the bathroom but all lights are out and there's no trace of his friend anywhere. Roman seems to be totally alone, apart from Dean's stuff that's neatly stacked in a corner; which means that Rome has cleaned up after his best friend once he was gone.

Before he can ask any more questions, Roman beats him to that. 'How do you keep finding us?' Right. Because they never tell him where they stay for the night and he still manages to track them down, no matter where they are. He likes to pride himself with saying his heart just always leads him to the right place; the truth though is actually so simple that it's boring again.

He opens his mouth to explain, but Roman interrupts him, holding up a hand. 'You know what? I don't even wanna know. It's kinda cute you always do. I'm sure Dean loves it too, so let's keep the mystery alive. I see Kane's back at your side.'

He has no time to dilly-dally, yet he can't just cut this short and leave like that. Especially since he still feels like he has to mend so much in his relationship with Roman.

So he leans against a green-ish armchair, answering a tiny bit jittery, 'I asked him if he wants to continue this charade with me and all he wanted to know was if I needed him, if I wanted him at my side.' He won't confess that he also begged the other to tell him a joke for their game.

He really wants to be victorious just once. Which is also why he texted Jeff and Matt, even the Undertaker, asking for help, because sooner or later Dean will tell a joke that is so dumb that he and Roman will laugh until they cry. So far, he got some good ones, but he still hasn't stumbled over that one crack that will guarantee him the win.

'And you said yes,' Roman jerks him out of his thoughts and he almost falls into the chair. Seth nods, sitting down on the armrest as a precaution, trying to be polite until he gets the information he came here for. 'So, where is he?'

His brother shrugs, plonking himself down on the edge of the bed. 'Fuck if I know. Took a shower, read a text and ran away as soon as he was dressed.' For a second all he wants to do is check Dean's phone because he's curious who wrote him. Then his brain kicks in and tells him that that'd be a breach of privacy – even though his brother doesn't mind Seth sifting through his stuff – and he doesn't want to be a jealous control freak.

'But he's injured.' Bray might even have damaged Dean's knee permanently. At least it looked very horrible and painful to him as he was standing backstage in the office of the Authority, watching his brother get beaten down systematically.

He did get in some offense too, showing his devil-may-care attitude very clearly when he jumped off the ambulance – making Seth gasp in the midst of the enemy, forcing him to feign a coughing fit – but in the end he lost. Again.

Which is why Seth is here. That and the possible knee injury.

And the night had started out so good with Hunter giving him that spot in the Cena-Lesnar match, Dean and Roman standing next to each other in the ring and Seth watching his friend smirk all the time during that opening segment.

Roman sighs, rubbing over his face tiredly. 'Said he still has a right leg.' That's so Dean. 'He'll tear the city down, won't he?' As much fun as he has during those matches, there's a lot of pride inside that man too. Sure, he cares way less than everyone else Seth knows about titles and being in the main event, as long as he goes out there and gives his best, but the recent series of losses must get to him too.

'He's just pissed he lost.' Ha, he knew it. Enjoying himself is one thing. Losing all the time something completely different. And since he wants to give his friend back some of the love he received recently – seriously, Dean was even able to trump his Christmas present by giving him a spare key to his sacred home in Vegas, practically allowing Seth to move in with him – he is determined to help him get over this.

'Ever since I broke The Shield he hasn't won any of his big matches. It's like I cursed him when I left,' he mutters crestfallen, hiding his face behind his hands to not have to look his brother in the eyes. He's hoping for a _cheer up, it's not that bad_ embrace, waiting anxiously for his wish to come true, because he needs the old Roman back more than anything.

'Hey, it's not your fault.' One. Two. _Oh, please don't do this to me_. Six. Seven. And then there it is. Two strong arm wrap themselves around him, hugging him tight and he's so overjoyed that he clutches his friend's navy blue pajama shirt like his life depends on it.

They're not yet where they once have been; however, they've gotten pretty close again.

'But he is so much stronger than that,' Seth murmurs against Roman's collarbone, voice filled with incredulity. 'He could defeat Wyatt and me without batting an eye. What's wrong with him?' A small, tired chuckle rumbles through his brother's chest and Seth buries his face even deeper into Rome's shirt, kinda hoping to just vanish inside of him to escape all of this forever.

'Well, you never gave him a chance, with your Authority buddies constantly interfering.' Looking back, he really wishes he'd have given Dean at least one win in their feud.

Though he did surrender to the better man once, accepted defeat against his friend in their Hell In A Cell match, but Bray took that away from Dean. To this day, Seth is still not entirely sure why he did that and what he wanted from his brother. To be honest, he doesn't get even half the stuff Wyatt mouths in his promos. But he is glad that this feud is over, even with Dean drawing the short straw once more.

'Do you think he should be alone right now?' He doesn't care that he should be back in his hotel room by now already because his family always comes first. If Roman asks him to join the search for Dean though, he'll have to come up with an excuse for ignoring the Authority, when they wanted him to thank them for putting Seth in the Triple Threat match.

He remembers that Roman and he agreed on settling their affairs before they take care of any title, but Big Show won't back down or let go of Rome for whatever reason, and making Cena's life a living hell might just have been his new favorite hobby.

Until his big brother isn't done with any adversaries, Seth will leave him alone and concentrate on that once-in-a-lifetime chance, knowing that – if everything else fails – Roman will agree to a good old-fashioned brawl in one of their backyards with Dean as their referee.

'Not really,' he hears his friend hum thoughtfully. 'But I also believe it's better if we leave him be for a little while.' Roman's one to talk. Seth doesn't have all night to wait until Dean comes around. 'I can't stick around so long.'

And he really wishes to see his boyfriend at least once tonight. Make sure he's somewhat okay, give him a kiss to say goodbye until Friday – thank heaven Smackdown is moving to Thursday next week, so he can see Dean a full day sooner.

Rome lets go of him, ruffling through his hair, encouraging him to chase after their brother on his own. 'Then you better pull off your magic trick and find him.' But that's almost impossible. Dean left the one device he needs to do that behind – maybe even wisely so.

How does his brother think he's able to pin them down all the time? Looks like he has to trust his instinct on this one. He knows Dean better than anyone, which means he should also be aware of the places he'd go to blow off some steam. If only he'd have taken his stupid phone with him, so he could call. 'He won't, you know, beat the shit out of me, will he?'

Roman throws him an amused glance before he claps him gently on the cheek, proclaiming, 'Nah. You did nothing wrong. He ain't mad at you, won't lose his shit and disappear if that's what you're worried about. He's only disappointed by himself. I tried to take away his doubts, but maybe you're more successful.'

Uh. Someone sounds a tad upset because he wrongly assumes Seth is taking away his spot in Dean's life. As if he ever could. Or would want to.

'You know he still considers you his best friend, right? And that will never change, no matter if we're together, if we marry or get kids, he'll always look up to you as his big brother, as the one who gave him not only a tiny new family, but a whole loving, bigger one. You opened up a different world for him.'

Rome looks him in the eyes for a very long moment and whatever he's searching for, he eventually finds it – pridefully so, if the grin is anything to go by. 'And you make him happy, whole even.' This is not a contest about who gets the most attention and love from Dean.

Neither of them has the right to give him an ultimatum, to make him choose between his brothers, which is why Seth never begged him to leave Roman for him, to turn heel, so they can be assholes together, even though the desire to be with him at all times is almost unbearable. Rome's such a lucky guy.

'Can't we just agree that he loves us both?' he groans, all the while smiling at his friend, stepping closer to get another one of those peaceful hugs. 'Never doubted it,' his brother says, a bit too casually for it to be completely true, pulling him in with one arm.

'Now go and bring him home.'

A whole lifetime ago, Roman had begged Seth to send Dean back to him – when he tried to supposedly seduce Kane and his brother showed up at their hotel, threatening to kill him – and now he entreats him to get his best friend to safety once more.

They both know that, by now, _home_ is also where Seth is; that he has earned that privilege again. But it also means that his big brother trusts him to get the job done, which is so much better than getting the spot in that Championship match.

'I won't let you down,' he promises, 'cross my heart.' Roman's lips brush over his forehead and his stomach does a happy flip when his friend simply states, 'I know.'

* * *

Oddly enough, it takes him just twenty minutes to find Dean. And that is only because Jamie called him, asking with his annoying voice where he's at and why he is out alone when Hunter wants to discuss his plans for Smackdown. If only he could lock the Authority in a supply closet of an arena one night and no one would ever open the door again.

His first pick had been the darkest and shadiest place in the neighborhood – wrong –, while his second one was spot-on. Dean's hiding in a barely lit park, sitting on a bench, smoking. Crap. He hasn't done that in years, stopped because Roman told him off back in FCW and convinced him that it's detrimental to his health.

Seth never said a word. Mostly because back then, they hadn't exactly been friends. Not even acquaintances. He had just been the guy Dean wanted to get his hands on to steal his title and then the one he ditched for God knows who, not willing to waste his energy on someone as unimportant as Seth. Or so he had thought.

Because shortly afterwards, Dean told him he wanted Seth for his team.

But even if they had been friends back then, he still wouldn't have tried to change Dean. It's not his place to do so. If his brother wants to be different all by himself, then Seth will support him, but he won't force himself on his friend if the help is not wanted.

What's even more worrying than the cigarettes is the booze in Dean's hands. He can't help but sigh relieved when he realizes it's still unopened. His boyfriend is only staring at the – well, seems like it's vodka but he can't really tell from afar – drink as if it could solve all of his problems.

It's a dangerous expression. Seth hasn't been around when Dean had hit rock bottom in life, but he always imagined his brother looked exactly like this – forlorn, irate, gutted, bitter – when he did something stupid. Like, life-threatening stupid.

Dean radiates so much self-hatred that Seth gets goosebumps just watching him sitting quietly on a bench. He's a bit wary approaching a wounded animal like this, but Rome trusts him to calm Dean down, so he'll go back without protesting. 'You know this won't help.'

He sits down next to his brother, scanning the area for all the exits and possible witnesses. Thankfully there are only two ways in and out and Dean chose the one sitting spot that has a good view over both of them. As soon as someone enters the park, Seth will have to hide himself. And Dean. To be on the safe side.

His friend shows him the bottle – it is indeed the Russian solution for everything, excluding Rusev of course –, laughing harshly. The sound hurts his ears so much that he shudders. 'I just wanted to try out a new drinking game. Take a shot for every match Dean Ambrose loses and, whoops, you're hammered in no time.'

Looks like the fun days are over. Though, to be fair, Seth can understand what's going through his brother's mind and he feels guilty for being the one who threw him into this dark hole in the first place. He breathes through his nose once before he simply murmurs, 'Dean.'

It's a plea and a reprimand at the same time.

'I always knew,' his friend finally answers, the cigarette that's stuck between his lips wobbling up and down while he talks. The words soothe Seth not in the slightest. Dean might have always been aware of the consequences and still, he drank way too much than was good for him in the past. Though the alcohol actually had been the least of his worries.

Seth watches Dean release some fume through his nostrils which makes him look like one of those cartoon bulls just before they attack someone and inches closer to his friend, even though his brain screams _abort mission; don't tempt the furious carnivore_. Silly him. As if he would ever listen to someone who's trying to separate him from Dean. 'You wanna talk about it?'

His brother scoffs scornful, waving the vodka around in front of his face. 'What's there to talk? I made a fool out of myself and proved to everyone that alone I can't do shit.' It must be horrible for Dean that the only thing he loves so damn much lets him down the moment he finally has reached a point in life where he wakes up in the morning and is able to begin the day with an honest smile.

Seth has to do something. He will find a way to make Dean feel better about losing the second feud in a row, even if it'll kill him.

For now though, all he can do is lay his hand over his brother's – not to take away the bottle, just to show him he's here. He'll be forever. 'That's not true. You took some risks and things backfired. That has nothing to do with you.' At moments like this, he asks himself if Dean was so heavy-hearted when he lost against Seth during their very first war too.

'No,' Dean yanks him back into the present, 'it was my own stupidity that cost me each and every match.' He wouldn't call it inanity. It's more like he already said. His brother had his fun, got lost in the moment and tried to give the fans something they hadn't seen before. It just didn't pay off for him.

'Dean,' he whispers pleadingly, resting his cheek on his friend's shoulder. 'Don't got here.' It's no use blaming himself for how the universe works. Seth only takes risks because he knows he's never alone; he won't crash and burn on his own if something goes wrong.

Without his family catching him, he would never jump off a building. He's not suicidal.

'No, you don't get it,' Dean emphasizes, blowing out some smoke right in his face and Seth tries very hard not to cough, because he doesn't want to interrupt his brother. 'He dragged my _father_ , my past into this, fucking crossed a line and I was too weak to put him in his place.'

There's no way he'll convince Dean that this was not his fault – which, by the way, he really believes. But this is so like his brother, always blaming himself before he even starts to properly think about the matter or let someone else persuade him that there are different ways to approach a problem.

So Seth can only think of one other thing. 'Maybe it was not meant to be.' Blame God, if everything else fails. Because he feels like he and no one else is the one responsible for his friend's demise, yet he can't do anything to change that.

Dean groans, flicking the cigarette into the grass and Seth watches the tiny, red glimmer fade away in the darkness while his brother warns him, 'If you say one more word, I'm gonna kick your ass so hard that you'll throw up pieces of my boots for weeks.'

Jeez. No putting the blame on God then. Not that they believe in one anyway. Alright. Then there's nothing left to say, except for– 'Screw Bray, screw what happened the last seven months, screw everything,' he bursts out, waiting for Dean to put the bottle on the ground before he takes his hand into his own. 'If you need an outlet, punch me. I'm the one who caused all this.'

It's very comforting that Dean doesn't even need a second to think about it, objecting within a heartbeat, 'You didn't.' But truth is, he totally did. And it all started when he made the worst decision of his life.

Maybe he wants to get hit, so he'll somehow pay for this. Perhaps he even misses to get manhandled and thrown across the ring by Dean, to get punished for his crimes in front of the whole world. It's just not the same when Roman does it.

'No,' he refuses to allow his brother to let him of the hook so easily. 'I broke our fami–' If he had known that Dean wouldn't hesitate a second time, he'd have kept his mouth shut. His friend punches him right in the jaw, the blow so hard that he almost falls off the bench.

He immediately lets go of Dean's left hand, fingers holding the stinging skin. He slowly moves the bruised area, tests if his own boyfriend has damaged the bone but other than that it's hurting like heck nothing seems to be broken.

'Feel better?' he asks, grimacing when Dean puts another cigarette between his lips. For some reason he doesn't light it though. 'Not yet.' What does the bible say? And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other. Yes, even as an atheist he knows that one.

So he points at his face – this time praying that one punch was enough to let out most of his anger until he can focus on another opponent again –, muttering, 'It's all yours.' He'll probably never stop taking one for the team. And quite honestly, it's kind of a good feeling to be able to help Dean out of this dark spot, even if it's only by turning the other cheek.

No matter what he can do, he'll gladly do it because he wants to show his friend that he's worthy of their relationship and that he too is capable of showing his love other than by simply stating it.

Dean looks at his fist, contemplating the choices he has and Seth can't help but flinch when his brother's body jerks into motion, because he fears he is going to get hit again. He can't tell why but Dean's blows always hurt the most.

Instead of harming Seth, his companion just throws the cigarette away and grabs his face to kiss him hard, rough, a tad aggressively even. A punch delivered by smooth lips. He's not overly fond of the stale taste, but it's still better than getting his teeth knocked out. 'Not your fault, idiot,' Dean murmurs against his mouth.

'Why did you punch me then?' he whispers back, though he can already imagine the reason for that. This one's really on him. 'You offered. And you seriously needed to shut your piehole.'

He can feel his friend grin against his lips and the temperature around them seems to drop a few degrees. Dean is no longer emitting a self-deprecating fire that can't be extinguished. There's now only a mischievous spark in his eyes that promises him an eventful and totally fun night.

Which he can't have, since people are expecting him, but just seeing it come back, no longer being suppressed by wrath counts as a small victory.

A little too late he hears the sound of footsteps, the telltale crunch of boots walking over gravel coming closer and there's no time to drag Dean behind the next tree. Thankfully, his brother is able to think straight even with a second tongue in his mouth, pushing him back by the shoulders to sit on his lap in one swift motion. Damn the leg, huh?

He gets another kiss, a thoughtful and sweet one this time, and Dean's left hand grasps his blond patch, covering it with his fingers because that's the most prominent part of his appearance. Man, why is Dean so smart?

The footsteps falter when whoever is strolling through the park walks past them. Probably not because that person recognized them – it's pretty impossible to even tell where Dean starts and Seth ends at the moment – but because it must be a rare sight to see two men practically dry humping each other in the park.

Right now, he'd love to watch them through that person's eyes.

'Unless you wanna join, you should leave,' Dean mutters loud enough for the intruder to hear and Seth snickers when the sound of footsteps rings out once more, indicating that someone leaves very hurriedly.

Why can't more people walk their dog or something like that? He'd love nothing more than to sit here all night and get ravaged by Dean.

It's probably destiny telling him _no, you can't have that right now_ , because at this moment a flash of genius hits him, concerning Dean's stroke of bad luck in big matches. It might not be entirely his fault – or maybe it is, he's still not quite sure – but he can do his brother a favor. Both of them actually.

Now that the Authority is back, he is forced to distance himself from his family again, _but_ on the upside, he and Kane can also manipulate Hunter and Steph, so Seth will surprise Dean on Smackdown. He doesn't know how yet, but he's determined to give back some of the romantic in-ring gestures his boyfriend doesn't even have to think very hard about.

And then Dean can go his merry way and start a feud with some poor guy, because this time, his brother has so much anger and frustration bottled up inside that he _will_ explode and whoever faces him next will be on the receiving end of all that.

As soon as his friend sits back down on the bench, his lap turns from the inside of a volcano to the Antarctica in a matter of seconds. But that's actually not that bad, since they've moved past the _sex as therapy and anchor_ thing a while ago and he doesn't want to hastily jerk off in the bathroom while the Authority is waiting for him next door.

'You'll rip somebody a new one soon, I'm sure of that. Win or lose, you entertain people and that's more than most of the roster can proudly say about themselves,' Seth pinches his friend in the cheek, too smitten with Dean's adorable dimples to not touch them. 'Rome and I, we know you're better than you led on in the past months. Whoever steps in the ring with you next will be the unluckiest guy in the world.'

Not really the motivational speech he had had in mind, but a good one nonetheless. Dean fondly rolls his eyes, chuckling, 'Shut up.' They both get up and Seth raises a fist into the sky behind his brother's back because he somehow handled this crisis without Dean having to resort to drinking.

He and Rome don't mind the occasional beer or two, it's the heavy stuff they're concerned about. Because they know how easily one step can lead to another. But Dean simply throws the full bottle in the trash bin on the way to Seth's car like the reasonable perso– yeah, that was a good one, right?

This is far from over, Seth knows that, but for some reason he thinks the satisfied grin on his brother's face doesn't just mean that he's happy with driving him nuts solely by making out with him in public. He has the certain feeling that maybe Dean already has another ace up his sleeve.

If _he_ can't beat Bray Wyatt, can't teach him a lesson, then someone else must do it.

Seth is more than ready to show the man to never fuck with his family, though he has to deal with Cena and Lesnar first. And Roman is busy with that leech Big Show. So who does Dean have in mind for that task? Who does he trust enough, other than Rome and him to get the job done?

* * *

Five days later he hears his phone blare the old Shield theme song intro the moment he steps out of the shower. For the first time in forever he is very proud of what he did, even if he got speared by his own brother and lost a match. But that was the plan all along. It's not like he made it easy for his family, God no, but he did hope they would step up and beat the hell out of him and his entourage.

Seth opens the text message and has to smile. A night with his best friend in the ring, them against the world and the added bonus of getting his hands on Seth was exactly what Dean – and Roman – needed. Even if he mostly did it for his boyfriend, he's glad to hear that his big brother enjoyed the night too.

He never had any doubt that Rome would ask somebody else to compete with him in a match against the Authority. No one cares less about defying people than Dean.

_I owe you one_ , his friend writes instead of a thank you. _We're gonna celebrate tonight, toasting to you. Call me Dean-o ever again and I will smother you in your sleep. & thanks for going easy on my knee, jerk. You do that ever again, I'll kiss you in the ring and tell daddy what a bad boy you've been._

He was just trying to not further harm his brother's knee, taking some of the damage when he was repeatedly attacking the weak spot on the mat by using his arm as a buffer; kicking or stomping on it only with half the force but twice the drama. Seth only wants to wrestle against Dean when they're both up to a hundred percent. Seems like his brother doesn't give a damn. What else is new? It's either all or nothing with that adorable dumbo.

There's no need to write back anything. Seth just revels in the knowledge that he made his family happy, that he was able to give his partner something he direly needed after losing to Bray Wyatt and him. And he'll replay the scene of Dean barging right at him, eyes only fixed on Seth's when he entered the ring in his head so often that he'll hopefully dream of it.

Before he can put his phone back on the table to towel himself down, he receives another message. This time from Roman. It too makes him feel completely at ease. They're finally getting somewhere.

_you did good tonight_

He hopes so, because Dean most likely will get punished for this by the Authority and Seth could not bear the burden of costing his friend the one thing he was born to do, that runs through his veins instead of blood. Looks like it's time to discreetly manipulate the hell out of Hunter and Steph again.


End file.
